How To Be Resilient Even When The World Feels Against You

For most of my 20’s I felt pretty lost. Every time I thought I reached that Ah Ha moment, life would push back & resist me from my destination. And my initial reactions were annoyance & discouragement over whether I’d ever have it all figured out.

The thing is, I don’t think we ever have EVERYTHING figured out in this life. That’s the beauty of it really. Not to sound cliche, but life is this constant journey. As we age & more years go by, we are forever striving for more, evolving as individuals & molding ourselves into these creatures of endless possibilities.

But I completely understand the struggle of pursuing certain aspirations & watching them blow up in your face. I’ve been there countless times. And I’ve had my fair share of sleepless nights, crying into my pillow wishing things would just fall into place already.

I’ve always been a rather dramatic person. Blame that on my zodiac sign (Leo the lion). I am a great mix of positivity, always down for fun with a sprinkle of “my life is insane.” So, when I found myself as a lost psychology student who should have probably stuck with journalism & was graduating with no plan whatsoever, I went into panic mode.

People told me my degree wouldn’t get me anywhere without more education. And as someone who hated the idea of more school, brushed that off as a silly threat. Around 7 years later, the most I’ve used my degree for was babysitting rowdy children & writing advice posts for you all. So, I guess they had a point.

In all honesty though, I never regretted my decision on my college studies. Sure, sometimes I question why I switched majors half way through & went with focusing on the human mind, but whatever. To quote my dad, “It is what it is.”

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Yes, my advice is starting with a basic inspirational quote. Deal with it. But as cheesy as this saying is, I love to follow it. There is no sense in worrying about the past. My decisions were made & if I don’t like it, the only thing to really do now is to change my future. And every moment, good or bad has lead me to where I am now. So, I’m happy.

Going through tough times of finding jobs & discovering my passions all lead me to the person I am today. I’m stronger, wiser & full of “don’t do as I did” type of advice. So, you’re welcome.

Every rejection letter, ghosting & down right NOPES lead me to this very moment. I had times where I wanted to completely give up. I thought I wasn’t meant for anything. I was going to quit or just settle in something I hate but was good at forever & then die of old age having never accomplished anything grand.

Related Post: Let’s Celebrate Our Small Wins for Once

MEET YOUR OBSTACLES HEAD ON

But when you finally muster up the courage to actually make a change & follow your heart, it can send you to someplace beautiful. In my post, What Truly Makes Me Happy, I discuss how a single book changed my perspective on life completely. Thanks to good ol’ Oprah Winfrey & her novel, “The Path Made Clear”, I learned you have to dive deep into reflecting on yourself to discover your true passions. And mine? Well, you can guess what it is by my blog. But this book taught me to listen to myself & my own feelings to find my calling.

For most of my 20’s, I primarily followed the paths & advice of other people way too much. I changed my major in college on the sole purpose of running away from a path that was a “dying bread.” Which, journalism is definitely NOT dying. And I get it, when life is tough & you’ve been knocked down over & over again, the likely suggestions is to receive help from others. Not all advice is bad. And help, when done right, can move you forward to great things. But I found, I was finding advice in the wrong places. Every idea that was sent to me caused me to roll my eyes.

DON’T CHOOSE THE EASY ROUTE

When shit got hard, instead of pushing back, I sat down & wallowed in my own self pity. I chose a path that was close by, easy & well below my full potential. But there’s comfort in safety. And it was definitely a safety net. When people asked me how work was I had to smile huge & hold back my feelings of complete misery & boredom. It was money & I had somewhere to go so I shut up. But deep down I knew I wanted more for myself. I just wasn’t doing anything about it.

DON’T STOP WORKING ON YOURSELF

For 4 entire years, I stayed at my safety net & never made a plan to bust out. It actually took a pandemic & being furloughed to gain the courage of even considering other options for myself. So, thank you coronavirus….seriously. Being stuck inside & fully being alone with my thoughts for months caused me to make a change. It was only me, myself & I ( & my fiance) who encouraged me to start this blogging journey. I stared fear, judgment & resistance in the face & powered through. For once, I have gone after something I’ve been wanting for years.

It’s funny how the greatest parts of my life: my relationship & my passion for writing fell into my lap because I took away those expectations & just let life happen. I took a risk & just went for it! And her I am: 4 months later, writing my little heart out & doing the damn thing one word at a time.

-B

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