How To Remain Intentional As A Bride

I’m so excited to be finally sharing the first installment to the wedding series on Mind Beauty Simplicity. It took some time to determine how I wanted to execute the information & stay on brand without giving too much detail about my own big day. Yes – I am a 2022 bride getting married in May in a pandemic era. So, I definitely have a lot to talk about. I wanted to start this series by providing an intentional living guide to all brides ( & grooms) who are in the middle of wedding planning. The entire process can feel stressful at times and we must center ourself & remind ourselves what truly matters and that’s marrying the love of your life.

Know Your Why

What’s the reason for this important day? Most would probably say, marrying the love of your life. It seems pretty self explanatory doesn’t it? The reason I bring up the reminder of knowing your why is because the main purpose can become easily lost through the stress, obligations & little details of the event. Yes – the day is about celebrating two families coming together, but remind yourself it’s a marriage and not a party. The most important aspect is you as a couple & announcing your forever love.

The Day is About You As A Couple

You will receive comments & opinions from all parties throughout this process. You need to remind yourself who’s day it truly is & stick to your guns. What you enjoy & want may not be what your MIL would like or anyone else for that matter. That’s why weddings are so unique. It should represent you as a couple & what would make you all happy. Never feel like you have to do something just because it’s tradition or a family member says you should. Most traditions are pretty archaic anyway.

Be As Traditional or Non Traditional As You Want

I want to make an entire separate blog post talking about the traditions we are ditching & how we are making the big day our own. It’s important to remember you don’t have to do any traditions you don’t want to do. Even though it may feel like there are certain rules to adhere by, weddings can be as unique as you’d like them to be. And when you remove some concepts out of the mix, you’ll find the day to feel so much less stressful.

Keep A List Of Must Haves

Between you & your partner – & each family [ because sometimes we still have to compromise with parents too ], keep a list of things each person must have for the big day. For instance, your fiance may insist on having certain friends or family in the wedding party. Or they may really want to splurge on the photographer / videographer. Discuss these wants early on & know you may need to compromise a bit too.

Compromising Is Key

One of the biggest things I’ve learned through wedding planning is there will be a lot of compromising. Believe it or not, I have always been someone who leaned towards getting eloped or having a very intimate sized wedding. But my fiance has always wanted a bigger wedding & he believes his family would disown him if we didn’t. Ha! So, we compromised & am having our wedding at my family estate with over one hundred of our friends & family. There are so many other ways you may have to compromise as well like your guest list, what flavor cake you both want, what music you want played, the menu or the dress code. The list goes on & on.

Learn To Say No

Although there is a lot of compromise, there is also plenty of times to simply say no with no extra explanation either. For instance, I do not want a bridal shower. I will give my readers an explanation but it truly isn’t needed. Planning a wedding in grief & losing my dad is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Literally, my dad passed away in September & through my shock, started planning this wedding. The least amount of events I have to sit through the better. As excited as I am for this next chapter, it has also been heart renching at times. We had an engagement party last summer & we are doing a no boxed gifts policy so it just seemed like a waste of time & energy. I’ll keep you posted on how that really goes though – ie the compromising point above.

Have Fun

At the end of the day, a person’s wedding day is a very very special milestone. And as much as people say how stressful wedding planning is, it’s only a small period of time in your life. Create a mindset as a couple to find ways to enjoy this process leading up to your wedding day. Prioritize date nights & spending quality time to enrich your relationship. Because at the end of the day, although the celebration is fun, the marriage & relationship you are building together means so much more.

I hope you enjoyed this introduction to my wedding series. I hope to post quite a few blog posts pertaining to this phase of my life even after our big day in May. Let me know topics you’d like me to cover like my wedding dress shopping experience story, our bachelor / bachelorette weekend & planning a wedding through grief & a pandemic to name a few suggestions.

– B

29 thoughts on “How To Remain Intentional As A Bride

  1. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your father. He would have wanted you to carry on with your wedding plans and enjoy every moment. I agree with saying no to all the things people try to impose on you. I’ve had two very unique weddings so I can attest that you will only be happy if you do it your own way.

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  2. I am so sorry about the loss of your father and sending you lots of love ❤️ I am excited about your wedding series! You made all valid points in this post and the one that resonated with me the most is saying no and not letting anyone impose their ideas/ideals on us. Happy Wedding planning!

    DoseofCozy💕

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think if I get married I’d want it to be nontraditional, because I’m not religious and almost all traditions around weddings are based around women being property. It’s a good point to state a wedding is about the couple, as too often the way it’s presented in the media it’s only about what the bride wants

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  4. I plan on having a destination wedding somewhere tropical like Hawaii with just direct family and 1-2 friends in my side and spouses side. This way it will be more intimate and I won’t have to worry about inviting too many people nor the wrong people. 🙂

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  5. This is my favorite line, “Never feel like you have to do something just because it’s tradition or a family member says you should.” Should I ever get married and have a wedding, I will remember that!! Great tips in this poor. I look forward to reading your series!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you! Yes I feel like that is something I’ve learned throughout this process and is quite the learning curve. I’m so used to saying yes and pleasing people but with wedding planning I’ve really had to stand my ground. Thank you so much! Next post will be up on Monday. 😃

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  6. Wow I am gushing over how amazing this post is! I wish I had this when I was getting married lol. I was married 2016 and yes I loved my day but this is really going to help a lot of future brides especially with the stress & anxiety of planning. For me I love the part of ” Be as Traditional or Non Traditional as you want to be”, I had a gold wedding slim fit gown. Everyone was against it but I had a Christmas wedding and its what I wanted! Besides white is for innocence and at the time I got married I had 4 kids… so really I think we missed the traditional mark anyways lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for the support, Lisa! Oh my gosh – I was so close to having a Christmas wedding! I bet your gown was beautiful!! Lots of traditions are going out the window. For instance, I’ve already felt married to my fiancé because we’ve lived together for like 3 years now. Lol 😆 but I guess now it’s official.

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  7. As a fellow pandemic bride, I love this post! I have no plans yet because my fiancé and I have a few big things we need to take care of first, but we have been definitely getting advice from anyone. I am definitely sharing this with all of the brides I know and the future ones because it’s all about you and your partner at the end of the day. Thank you for sharing this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love how you started with “Know Your Why.” You are so right, this often gets lost in the planning process and I feel like so many people forget about what is most important.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. You’ve hit the nail on the head Bee! Too often the day becomes a day for others and not the couple themselves. Can’t wait to read more on this series!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. So funny you said your fiancee thinks his family would disown him. We thought that too about my now husband’s family.
    We had always joked we’d just pop in somewhere on our travels one day and get married but we figured it’d be a hassle. Then we got engaged but shocked everyone with a surprise wedding like 6 weeks later. We were super nervous about Jason’s family reactions, but thankfully they were super happy. Did we get small comments that “so and so” wasn’t invited? Yes. But they also knew that because it was on the condo rooftop that we had a small occupancy limit.
    I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if they’d been upset. On the other hand, I honestly don’t know how I would’ve handled wedding planning with my in-laws because both of us are like you – smaller and more intimate/elopement.

    So sorry about your dad. I’d love to say it gets easier, but celebrating while honouring the grief is difficult. My bestie was married like 6 weeks before COVID shut the World down and even though her brother tragically died in 1999 we still had a photo of him there for the ceremony and reception and it still hurts to not have him around. Do what works for you – don’t let anyone tell you how to honour your dad through your wedding. That’s one thing you absolutely shouldn’t compromise on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i totally feel you – it’s been a lot of opinions and comments from my inlaws already but i’m learning to just let those comments roll off my shoulder and do things our way. and thank you so much for the kind words. it’s been a tough a few months with his passing. i agree – i think the grief and love for that person will always remain. luckily, we are doing lots of things to honor my dad. but i will be honest – wedding planning has been a lot harder without him here. thank you for the advice – i agree that shouldn’t be something to compromise. i’ll only do what i can handle. 🙂

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  11. I’ve really enjoyed following along in your wedding journey! You have such great ideas to share that will help future brides! Thank you for sharing so much of your journey! Wishing you a lifetime of happiness:)

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  12. It’s definitely important to be intentional and be at peace with the decisions you both make as a couple planning your wedding. This has been a difficult process to do as you are missing your father. I believe you will enjoy and cherish your wedding for sure. I personally believe you can create a book with all your information you have shared in planning your special day.

    Pastor Natalie (ExamineThisMoment)
    Letstakeamoment.com

    Liked by 1 person

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