Health, Self Growth

Don’t Let Negative Energy Put You in A Funk

Energy, whether it be positive or negative, flocks to me like a virus (is that analogy too triggering?). Not to get all cosmic with you, but we need to learn to protect our auras. Raise your hand if you are an empath? *raises both hands way up high* I’ve found I am someone who embraces emotions even when they aren’t my own. And sometimes those emotions aren’t always pretty. What do we do when we are constantly faced with negative energy? And how do we protect ourselves from letting said energy affect our lives?

I think we first need to understand the idea of empaths.

In my own definition, I find empaths to be warriors of emotions. They absorb energies from people & make them our own. They take the analogy “walk in someone else’s shoes” a little too far. If you are reading this thinking, “oh my gosh, that’s me”…this post is for you. I’ve been really trying to work on this side of myself & have been doing a bit of research & I think I’ve found some ways we can control this “superpower” we have.

Yes, I’m saying being an empath is a superpower. I think once we understand it better & learn to set boundaries for ourselves, we can use these traits for good. It’s when we surround ourselves with too much negativity and even toxicity, this is when being an empath isn’t too fun. Especially when those people are one’s we can’t necessarily cut out (ie. colleagues or family members)

UNDERSTAND THE FUNDAMENTALS OF EMOTIONS

We must first understand why people tend to gravitate to certain emotions. Use your empathic super power & understand we are all human & have a wide range of emotions from time to time. I’m sure you’ve had a bad day or even a bad month before. So, understanding where a person is coming from first, can help you in finding ways to then put those feelings into action. The thing about being human is we run on patterns. We tend to develop these habits that can, in turn, become traits in our personality. I tend to see people who side on negativity have in some way or another developed a bad habit, especially if the negativity is ongoing. Like any habitual trait, we must learn to combat it & not let it rule us. Don’t let negative thoughts become your comfort zone.

CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE

This might sound harsh but bare with me. Taking the minimalism techniques I talk about & applying them to people in our lives is so important. Never feel guilty about cutting someone out of your life (even if it is family). Yes, I said it. And I’m not taking that back. Life is too short to be prioritizing people who bring us down. And regardless if they are blood or not, certain people just have the ability to drain us emotionally. And we have to learn how to gracefully walk away. Especially when it’s people you meet by choice like friends & acquaintances. Never feel obligated to keep these people in your lives if all they do is suck the life out of you. I call these people emotional vampires. And why would we choose to keep these monsters around? I think the notion of quality vs quantity within friendships comes with age. I’d much rather have a few people in my circle who truly have my back instead of a bunch of people who don’t.

KEEP IN MIND LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE

I fully believe in the concepts of manifestation & what you feel is what you will attract. If we feel we are surrounding ourselves with too much negativity & would prefer not to, we must first observe our own behavior. Sometimes without even realizing it we can be letting ourselves get lost in toxic environments because in some ways we like the attention, find comfort in it or feel like there is no way out. But as I said before, the energy we let stay is our choice. So, decide wisely. I find people tend to make happiness into this vulnerable concept. Society seems to embrace bad news & has made it be this weirdly sought after trait. I find we need to let go of this notion & see emotions as balancing acts. It’s unrealistic to be heavily one sided on either emotion. We need to take our emotions as they come & place action in front of them.

SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

If there are people in your life who mean well & are still toxic feeling, another opinion is to set clear boundaries. Without even realizing it, people in your life could be preventing you from your dream life. People in your life can mean very well, but their protective natures could be stopping you from pursuing what you’ve always wanted. Those same people can think they know what’s best for you & think their opinions are the only correct ones. Don’t ever abandon yourself. Always remember, you know yourself more than anyone else. During my research on these topics I came across some great responses to people who are trying to dictate your path:

“I appreciate your concern but I know what I want / know what I’m doing”

“That may be your case, but that is not my truth”

“I just need some space right now”

DETERMINE YOUR TRIGGERS

Awareness is golden. When we come to terms with what triggers us, we become more empowered as individuals. Regardless of what other people may or may not understand about your boundaries, you need to take ownership of those feelings & protect yourself when you feel it necessary. Whether that’s creating a smaller circle of friends, exiting certain topics of discussion or letting go of old habits; these actions will guide you to a better understanding of yourself & you will gain a sense of power that you may have lost.

Health, Self Growth

10 Ways To Stay Stress Free

I think we all can relate 2020 has been a stressful year. All of us have become superheros in our own rights wearing more than just our usual hat & juggling responsibilities like we are professional circus clowns. Some of us are in lockdown for the second time, having to bare the boredom that is being stuck between the same four walls of our homes. How do we manage such a lifestyle change? Today, I’m here to discuss the ways to find peace during the uncertainty & keep our stress levels to a minimum.

Drop A Plastic Ball

Now, I can’t take full credit on this suggestion. But I was blown away by this one so I had to share. Youtuber, Allison Anderson discussed the idea that we as humans are constantly juggling both plastic & glass balls. Most of the time we are unable to handle the weight of both types. We tend to focus our attention to the plastic ones which are daily tasks, responsibilities or deadlines. But we must not let the weight of those hinder the glass ones. What do the glass balls represent? Your mental health of course. We don’t ever want our mental health to suffer or our glass ball to drop. Unfortunately, I think we all have had moments where we have let this happen. And that’s when our stress levels go through the roof. So, to prevent this, we must let a plastic ball drop instead. Stop filling your calendar with too many obligations when you know you won’t be able to handle it all. It’s ok to say no. Have a sense of balance with your life. Protect your mental wellbeing.

Write Your Thoughts Down on Paper

Have you ever had those moments where your mind is racing a mile a minute & you can’t get any of those thoughts straight? Sit down, take out a piece of paper & start writing. There is seriously something powerful about writing thoughts down on paper. It’s like once those thoughts are etched in ink, they are free from the overthinking mind. I think venting is a great way to get those feelings out. And there is something beautiful & private about having such a moment with yourself. I myself don’t always hold onto my venting pages. I usually just shred them right after. But you can always look back on your thoughts a few days later & see if you feel the same way. Usually you don’t have the same perspective. The idea of writing down your thoughts on paper is taking your internal feelings & releasing them externally. And with that, you should feel lighter.

Ask yourself, “will this matter in the future?”

This question has saved me from hours of overthinking. Most situations, solve themselves pretty quickly. And even when they are heavier topics, such as grief, even those become better with time. But for the majority of daily tasks & responsibilities, worrying about the outcome is wasted energy on your part. Things will play out when they should & how they should. Sometimes we have no control whatsoever. Once you except this notion, you’ll become more at peace.

Take a Moment for Yourself

Mental health & self care are one in the same. And I’m constantly talking about its importance. Especially during this time, we MUST put ourselves first. I don’t care how busy you may be. Put down the laptop, put the baby in their crib, let the kids do their thing, let your significant other play video games & take time for yourself! Run a warm bath, exfoliate your skin, put on a face mask, paint your nails or apply a leave in conditioner. These all sound like superficial things, but I’m telling you, when you feel good on the outside you will be able to handle whatever life throws at you. My favorite me time activity during these cold months is curling up with some hot chocolate & a good book.

Change Your Scenery

If you are in lockdown again, this might seem difficult, but I’m telling you it’s not. If I feel like I’m spending too much time in the living room, typing away, I’ll sit down on a different chair in my blogging office or at the kitchen table. If I’m really bored of being at home, I’ll drive around & hit up the Starbucks drive thru. Sometimes I’ll just drive around different neighborhoods & listen to music. Another great idea is to take a walk in your neighborhood. Fresh air is so crucial. And if the temperature is dropping, just do what I do & put on a bubble coat that goes down to your feet. I also have been decorating our house for Christmas already. It makes me feel happier & brighter during these cold dark nights.

Bury Your Social Media Apps

I read about this tip as well & thought it was genius. I’ve already discussed the importance of decluttering your digital space but I never thought about this idea. To help use your apps more intentionally, hide them in the back of your folders on your phone. As someone who constantly checks Twitter & news outlets for updates about this virus mess, it can all become too much sometimes. Another suggestion is to not keep the social media app on your phone at all. Only allow yourself to check those platforms via desktop.

Let Go of What is Unnecessary

Like the concept of plastic and glass balls, sometimes you need to let go of some things completely. Whether it’s toxic people, work environment or social media platforms, there are times where you need to clean house. And before the new year I always like to clean up a few things to start fresh. I’ll be sure to discuss these topics closer to the new year.

Do A Bit of Cleaning

I know not everyone is as much of a clean freak like me, but I’ve always managed my stress by occupying my mind through organizing my room or cleaning around the house. I use it as a form of distraction & then get a clean house out of it. Win win for me. Also, when my space is clean, I feel less stressed out anyway.

Have a Heart to Heart

I know when you keep things bottled up it makes situations feel worse. It’s important to have people in your life you can go to for advice or simply someone to listen. People can provide other perspectives on problems that you may not have thought about. And sometimes talking things out just makes it seem easier. But always be choosy of who you confide in & choose someone you trust wholeheartedly. I know this year has felt pretty isolating. I feel for those who live alone. But luckily we have technology to help us feel more connected. Plan a zoom date or get together, text a friend, play Among Us or Fall Guys with someone. Even message a follower / “online” friend. Reading other people’s blogs & connecting with you all on social media has been a blessing during these times. It has made the rest of this year better.

Focus on a Brighter Future

I honestly feel like a better tomorrow will never come with the year we’ve had. But you have to remember, generations before us have gone through some tough times as well & they made it through. Start thinking about future plans & ideas. Where do you want to travel to next once things are better? Go back to the writing tip & start manifesting your dream life. Although it seems like this virus is with us for longer than we wanted, it brightens my heart when I see people getting married still, buying homes, adopting pets or even starting new careers & continuing education. Focus on those stories & moments. Those are the resilient ones. But at the same time, if you are feeling down & unmotivated, don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way. Your emotions are valid. Treat yourself with care. We will all get through this.

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-B

Health, Self Growth

Social Media Detoxes Are Good For The Soul

In the world of blogging, if you don’t market yourself properly, you won’t get the following you deserve. In my personal life, I let go of social media (minus Facebook) because the battle of comparison was way too much. Not only that, but my life didn’t feel like my own. Nothing was left to mystery but I also liked the attention. It was a vicious cycle & I wanted to be free of it.

Once I started blogging, I saw the benefits to having different platforms to share my work. All the advice articles to blogging say it’s the best way to increase traffic. But to what cost? I felt myself slipping into the habits of wanting to look perfect on Instagram & take the best photographs. Everyone else makes it look effortless. But I find it to be a waste of time. As a minimalist, I want to live in the moment more. Constantly browsing through social media sucks that time from you. So I had to reevaluate my purpose for these platforms & be my authentic self.

You Might Also Like: Why I Only Use Social Media For Blogging

Instead of feeling the need to post photos of my day, I want to solely stick to the blog posts I write & inspirational quotes. If that means I lose followers, it is what it is. I’d hope people would enjoy the authenticity and stay around. But my main goal is to share my writing. Twitter has been a good way to do that. It’s just my link & no other extra fluff to it.

Take a Step Back

When I deleted most of my personal social media in 2016, I felt free. It became annoying when I would go out, friends would Snapchat me without me knowing. I didn’t want that to be out there. I wanted to enjoy the night unplugged. The best parties & events are the ones where you take no photos. The times where you are so engaged in the moment, the thought of documenting doesn’t even cross your mind. I love to take photos. But I know I have a great life. I don’t need to prove it to anyone.

The Comparison Battle is Ruthless

It’s so easy to look at other people’s lives & highlight reels & think you aren’t enough. This is why stepping away from social media some is healthy. You can then connect with yourself better & know your true worth. It’s good to be different. I’ve seen this even in the blogging world. There’s so many blogs out there. Everyone is unique & I think the ones that are truly successful are the ones that stay true to themselves. It shouldn’t be about follower count. It should be fun & inspiring. Readers see though fake content. Eventually you have to be real. Might as well start that way.

I Gained A Happier Mindset

When you let go of technology you let go of the unnecessary distractions. Minimalism is much more than decluttering. It’s a mindset shift into living with intention & appreciating the people around you. Social media seems to keep you connected. But how many of those “friendships” are real? It’s superficial in the grand scheme of things. I promise you when you look up from your phone, you realize all the precious time you are wasting. So log off. You’ll be happier.