Collaberations, organization

Post-Breakup Decluttering: What to Toss After a Relationship Ends

There are the gifts—from birthdays, holidays, or those random “just because” days. That t-shirt of theirs you like to sleep in. The toiletries they kept at your place for nights they stayed over. Photos—both physical and on your phone. There’s a paper trail; a collection of love letters, ticket stubs from the concerts you went to, birthday cards. We amass a great deal of stuff over the course of a relationship. But what happens when it ends? How do you declutter after a breakup?

Before I go further, though, thanks so much to Bee for having me here! I’m Katie, but you might know me as the dating b. I write a lifestyle and relationship blog called The Dating B*tch. Don’t let the name fool you, though! My main focus is on helping people improve all aspects of their relationships—including the one they have with themselves.

After a breakup, your relationship with yourself can take a major hit. It’s important to take care of your physical and emotional wellbeing. Part of that self-care can come in the form of decluttering. So, today, I’m sharing my advice on decluttering after a breakup.

Related Read: 7 Ways to Deal with a Breakup

Why You Should Declutter After a Breakup

Even if you’re not a minimalist, it’s a good idea to do a little decluttering sesh if you’re going through a breakup. Here are 3 reasons why a post-breakup cleanse is so important:

1. It Gives You a Sense of Control

Breakups can really leave people feeling anxious and uncertain. Unless you were the one who ended the relationship, you probably didn’t want to break up. It was completely out of your control. That’s a hard thing to deal with. We like to be in control of our own lives and futures, especially when it comes to love and romance. But, if someone ends a relationship you wanted to stay in, that decision was out of your hands. Being broken up with is a passive activity.

The act of decluttering on the other hand, is active. So, by doing a little post-breakup cleaning, you’re putting yourself back in the driver’s seat of your life.

2. It’s Empowering & Proactive

Taking an active approach to your own healing journey can help you feel more empowered. When you go through a breakup, it’s normal to want to stay in bed and wallow. You know you need to work on “self-care” and “healing” and “moving forward,” but heartbreak can make anyone a procrastinator. While you may not be ready to start an exercise routine or get back into the dating field, you can probably do a little decluttering. Doing that will help you feel more productive which can help you heal faster.

3. It Can Help Your Mental Health

Your physical space is strongly tied to your mental and emotional health. If you have a lot of clutter, you tend to feel more disorganized. By getting rid of some of your relationship clutter, and possibly doing some light cleaning while you’re at it, it will help you feel happier and less anxious.

Related Read: 10 Ways to Practice Self-Love (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It) 

Steps for Decluttering After a Breakup

When you hear the phrase “post-breakup decluttering,” I bet you’ve got an image of burning everything your ex ever gave you. But that’s not how you should approach it. Here’s what to do instead:

1. Get Rid of the Paper Trail

I’m not talking about the love letters or the sentimental ticket stubs you kept. Rather, the electronic paper trail. The hundreds of text messages and photos you’ve got saved on your phone. Now, I totally understand wanting to hold on to the pictures; they’re a part of your life and history, and one day you may want to look at them again. So, for that, go ahead and send them to your Google Drive. But you need to delete the texting chain and all the pictures on your phone. What you don’t need is a way of re-examining everything to see if you can determine what went wrong, which is what you’ll want to do if you can re-read all their old texts.  

2. Sort Through the “Stuff”

For me, clearing out my phone was always the hardest part. The next part is way easier. Sort through all the physical stuff. In one pile, you can put their things; their toothbrush, deodorant, the extra clothes they left at your place. Anything that was strictly theirs. Next, the sentimental stuff; letters, the t-shirt you sleep in, the framed photos, the keepsakes from dates or vacations. And finally, the gifts they’ve gotten you.  

3. Toss What You Don’t Need

This is going to be subjective, and if there’s nothing you feel you can actually throw away, don’t worry. You don’t have to. But if there’s anything you can get rid of (think, their spare toothbrush that they probably won’t want back), this is where you throw it out.

4. Box Up the Rest

Everything else can be boxed up. If there’s anything you ex will want or need back, put that together in a separate box. Eventually, you’ll need to return it to them, but for now, just pack it up. The rest of the stuff, the gifts and sentimental items, should also be packed up. Again, you don’t need to physically get rid of everything, but you do need to put it where you won’t see it on a daily basis.  

5. Celebrate Yourself

Whether you did a lot of cleaning and organizing or just threw a few things together in an afternoon, it’s not easy to declutter after a breakup. It’s a symbolic act of moving forward so take a minute to celebrate yourself for taking that first step.
Thanks again to Bee for letting me write this guest post! For more on dating, relationships, and personal growth, check out my blog at www.datingbitch.com.

Minimalism, Minimalism, organization

10 Things You Can Declutter In 2022

The new year is always a favorite time – with the glitz & glam & thoughts of fresh starts. I’m not one to make large resolutions, but I do like to reflect on my past year & gain perspectives that will entice growth. Most importantly, I love going through my physical baggage of the past year & cleanse my space with a proper declutter. Here are 10 things you can declutter in 2022.

1. Clothing That No Longer Defines The New You

I plan to go into more detail on decluttering your closet in the next few months, but one of my favorite spaces to downsize is my wardrobe. I’m going into the new year wanting to experiment with fashion & be rid of any items that no longer make me feel like the new me.

2. Holiday Decor You Won’t Use Next Season

As you pack holiday decor away, instead of buying more storage boxes – go through each piece & ask yourself if you’ll want to use it next holiday season. I know I’ve personally accumulated quite a few Christmas decorations in the course of the pandemic era. I wanted to make my feel extra cheering. But as I put things away, I’ve discovered the lack of space we have to store such items. It’s time to downsize for sure.

3. Who You Follow

Go through all social media platforms & clean house. Let go of any accounts that no longer inspire or make you happy. I no longer keep the mindset of follows for follows. It feels less genuine & I’d rather be authentic going into the new year.

4. Digital Files & Emails

Although these items can be discreetly stored on tablets with very little visual clutter, it’s important to go through these forms of technology & clean out your digital storage.

You May Also Like This Post of Digital Decluttering

5. Books You’ve Already Read in 2021

Unless you love having shelves filled with books, it may be keen to declutter a few you’ve read in the past year. Make room for new ones & allow others to read ones you’ve loved. You can donate them to local libraries.

6. Purge Your Pantry or Fridge

Let go of any expired goods or foods you won’t eat in the new year. Perhaps you are trying to establish a healthier lifestyle. Get rid of any snacks or junk foods that would prevent this new habit. Start fresh with fresh groceries.

7. Expired Beauty Products

Did you know your makeup products have an expiration date? In the new year, I like to refresh my collection with a new foundation or other products. I will get rid of any products that are quite old or ones I know I will no longer use. It’s better for your skin.

8. Gifts You Won’t Use

During the holidays, we tend to bring in a lot of new items. Some of which aren’t suited for our lifestyles. Be honest with yourself & get rid of anything you don’t want. There is no need to have guilt. You can even regift certain items – just be sure it’s not in the same circle of people who gifted you first.

9. Masks

Don’t get rid of every single one quite yet. But I’m sure you’ve accumulated a collection by now. Let go of any masks that don’t fit properly or you don’t like. Clean them & donate them to shelters.

10. Sentimental Items

Sometimes, to move forward – we need to let go of the past. I have a feeling most of us hold onto physical items that represent such memories. Whether it’s greeting cards, letters, trinkets or event tickets – it is important to go through these items carefully & be sure we aren’t holding onto anything they will keep us stuck.

-B

blogging, blogtober

How Bloggers Should Handle Being Unfollowed

Rejection sucks! I get it! But I also think it’s something that comes naturally during the course of life. People are going to enter your life & set up camp while others slowly go away with time. Although this can happen in everyday occurrences, I wanted to focus on how it feels to be unfollowed as a blogger. The blogging community is a place filled with endless support & encouragement. We all bring unique qualities through our writing & personalities. With there being 7 billion people on this planet though, not everyone is going to like you.

They Just Don’t Vibe With Your Content

Every blogger has some niche whether it be extremely broad like lifestyle or narrowed in like minimalism. Usually when you start blogging & determine your niche, you flock to that particular audience. Occasionally, you’ll find others who are more neutral & may or may not have strong interests or opinions at all with what you write. I personally, don’t get offended by an unfollow or being unsubscribed to because I wouldn’t want people who don’t enjoy my content to stay. I want my followers to be genuine.

You Shouldn’t Obsess Over The Numbers

I understand it’s important to set goals. In any type of work we are always striving to better ourselves. As bloggers, our stats are some of the only ways to monitor that. I’m saying we shouldn’t get so hung up over the numbers that it causes us to completely give up. For instance, I could have deleted my blogging Instagram after losing 500 followers in a week one time. But instead, I just stepped away & returned with a new mindset of enjoying the loyal followers I do have.

Blogging Is Supposed to Be Fun

Whether you are a full time blogger or do this as a side hustle, at one point you simply found blogging as something fun to do. Go back to that mindset when you are feeling overwhelmed or looking at stats too hard. I for one, fell back in love with blogging by participating in Blogtober. I’ve gotten to share useful informative content along with ones that are just for fun. It will always be this healthy distraction for myself above anything else.

-B