Tag: confidence

organization, Self Growth

5 Reasons Letting Go Is So Damn Difficult!

mindbeautysimplicity

Wanting a more simple life starts with letting go of what no longer serves us. Easier said than done am I right? I feel like I say this, but always end up saving tons of questionable items. Why is it so hard to let go in the first place? I wish I could just turn my feelings off for one second.

Recently, I helped my husband downsize his childhood belongings from six large storage containers to only one. It was quite the project but one we both knew was something to tackle. It got me thinking about why we hold onto certain things & also why it can be so hard to finally let go. It’s almost like the longer you own something, you start to believe whatever that something is, must be special & worth holding onto. And we discovered even though he forgot most of what was in these containers, the memories started flooding back. And this is why sentimental item can be the MOST difficult to let go. But any type of belongings, if we place too much meaning on said item can become difficult to throw away. Here are 5 reasons why letting go can be so damn difficult.

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You Are Still Living in the Past

Nostalgia can be a precious thing. Whether it’s a smell, an object or even a single thought , these things tie us to what we once were. We almost hold onto things for the sole purpose of trying to preserve our memories.

Especially with physical objects, we almost keep these things with the fear of forgetting. We must remember the most powerful aspect of our memories are ourselves. We must let go of said fear & trust we will remember things in our minds. Again, don’t let your objects hold so much credit. You are far more than what you own.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but sentimental items are very difficult for me to declutter. I have been biting the bullet though & challenging myself to go through these items brutally. And through this process, I’ve learned a lot about myself & the things I hold near & dear to my heart. In my 5 Things To Keep In Mind When Decluttering Sentimental Items, I pinpointed key factors that helped me downsize my keepsakes in half!

I felt like I was holding onto too many past memories that ultimately made me feel stuck & less likely to move forward in my life. Although I still have plenty of sentimental items to look back on & cherish, I allowed myself to be rid of the pointless emotional baggage that was taking up space in my home. You need to remember life is constantly moving & you will have far more memories & keepsakes ahead. Make room for the future by narrowing down your past.

You Feel Guilty Giving It Up

Maybe you have a pit in your stomach for purchasing something so expensive you never use. Or perhaps you were gifted something & although the gesture is always sweet, you just don’t use it. These feelings of guilt should not become a burden to your mind.

If you feel guilty over whether you should get rid of something, you should always be rid of that item. That mental turmoil will only make matters worse. I always believe it is better to let go of something you don’t use so it can be treasured by someone else.

And if you are having difficulty letting go an item because it was either passed down to you by a family member or given to you as a gift, ideally the person shouldn’t be upset if you no longer want something. Either return it to the sender or give it to someone who would better appreciate it. Material items should rarely have such pressures of value. And if they do hold lots of value, finds ways to use it or display it. Otherwise, let it go.

Fear of Needing it in the Future

This concept reminds me of everyone buying tons of toilet paper in the beginning of the pandemic. Fear & consumerism when tied together, create chaos. You can’t go walking around with the mindset of the world is ending or “I’ll never be able to find this again.” That’s when hoarding develops. And we really don’t want that. In today’s world, it is rather easy to find certain items online. If at any point you are missing an item or need it again, you can always repurchase it later.

This is why when shopping I don’t purchase just incase items or bulk items. To me, it just seems like a waste of space, money & product. Save some for the rest of us please. I think a lot of people have this notion that if you hold onto something for those just in case moments, it saves them money in the long run. I have noticed this is a wrong way of thinking.

Rarely do I feel grateful for having kept certain things for those just in case items. For example, I’ve had this Christmas sweater I wore one time but have held onto it JUST IN CASE we have an ugly christmas sweater party to go to. The future is always questionable & who truly new we wouldn’t be having large get togethers with friends for a year. By the time we actually have a party, I’m going to want a brand new outfit!

What Will People Think?

Repeat after me, stop caring what people think of you! If a person truly cares if you get rid of something, maybe you should gift it to them. This is your life to live so if you feel overwhelmed by the clutter in your home, don’t waste anymore time.

I’ll be honest, I probably still own plenty of things other people told us we HAD to have when owning a home. But slowly I will even downsize these items because most MUST HAVE items are useless in my opinion. And if there comes a time we truly need something, we will buy it. Simple as that.

It Hints You Were Wrong

Whatever it may be, it’s ok to admit it wasn’t right & it’s healthy to finally let it go. Life is too short to be living with things & people that don’t serve you. And if anything else, these wrongdoings can be seen as lessons leading us to our correct path.

Admitting you were wrong about something can be a hard pill to swallow. But it’s also extremely human & liberating. Maybe you were wrong about a certain style of clothing working for you. Or in a more deep sense, maybe a certain person in your life is wrong for you. These mistakes & lessons are normal & a part of life.

I truly hope these tips help you have more clarity with the idea of having a clutter free life. Comment down below what holds you back from letting go.

-B

Self Growth

Why Rebranding Doesn’t Stop At Your Blog: How To Reinvent Yourself

mindbeautysimplicity

I’ve gone through personal “rebrands” throughout my life – from switching what sport I was playing, to becoming a dancer in high school [ with no prior dance experience ]. I would change my clothing styles or hair color & hope those small tweaks would lead to a new life for myself. And as I’m in my 30’s now, that rebranding or reinventing myself hasn’t stop & I’ve been itchy for a change. The rebranding process is so crucial in the blogging world & sometimes makes the biggest difference in stats & popularity. It got me thinking, the same results could happen if I continued this with my personal life.

For me personally – going through an extreme loss this past year has changed me a lot. In a grief standpoint, it is quite normal & I’ve spent some time focusing on my healing process & being extra kind to myself. Although they say you don’t want the trauma to change you a ton – I’m actually really happy with the person I am today, regardless that the heartbreak of a loved one passing [ my dad ] was the cause. I’ve became quite the reader these days, I am trying to balance a more realistic lifestyle when it comes to living with intention & I’ve gained a much needed backbone.

If you are also looking to reinvent yourself in some shape or form, here’s where you should start:

Determine Your Why

Why are you looking to make a change in your life? Are you striving for better routines? Are you wanting to cut a bad habit out? Or are you just wanting to help yourself reach specific goals? Determining your why will initiate this game plan for your life. For me, my interest in a rebrand was looking in my closet, & not liking anything I had in my wardrobe. Since the pandemic, I became lazy when it comes to my style & now – I’m looking to rediscover that love for fashion & beauty. And then from there, I wanted to make some personality changes without losing the essence of who I am. I can honestly say, I’m the most sure of myself than I have ever been.

Change Up Your Habits

Are there certain lifestyle habits that are holding you back? For me, I am striving to be the healthiest version of myself, so four months ago, I decided to venture into living an alcohol free life. And ever since than, I’ve been able to take back control of my personality. If you are interested, I can definitely go more in depth on why I choose to live an alcohol free life going into my 30’s. Another habit I’m striving to break is spending far too much time starring at a phone screen. To replace that time & energy, I’ve been spending more time reading actual books which in term, helps me relax & maintain a more calm presence.

Create a Morning / Evening Routine

Morning & evening routines are so popular these days – usually filled with aesthetic concepts. But there is truth in having routines & how they can help ground us. Now, I tend to think of routines in a more simpler way. For instance, setting your morning alarm for a set time, making some form of beverage [ my favorite being chai tea lattes ] & in the evenings – setting aside time to read. Slowing down & creating these rituals can really transform how you take on the busier ends of the week. If you are interested, I can go more in depth on my morning / evening routines lately.

Appearance Can Make a Difference

As superficial as it sounds, changing up your outer appearance can actually make you change internally as well. I’ve been looking through my fall wardrobe & have decided I want to expand my style & add a few new pieces. At the moment, I’m loving neutral shades with mixes of textures. As much as I love athleisure wear, I’ve also fell into a rut where I want to dress much cuter.

Determine Your Goals

These can be short term or more long term goals – but I love planning out goals for myself [ especially with the new year approaching ]. Whether it’s wanting to start a family, adding a pet into the mix or looking to purchase a new home – it’s fun & inspiring to brainstorm on our lives. I think sometimes we tend to just go with the flow & let time pass us by, when there is always something to strive for. Even if it’s a small goal of waking up a little earlier during the week, or trying out a new workout class. Not only do goals make us feel accomplished, but it also allows us to romanticize our lives again.

-B

advice, Self Growth

What Truly Makes You Happy?

mindbeautysimplicity

A sequential glide of a pen. The musical sound of fingers tapping one key after the other. Thoughts racing as the words spill out on the page. To me, this is paradise.

I have a book recommendation for you all. The Path Made Clear by Oprah Winfrey. I stumbled upon this book a few years ago & it changed my perspective on life. We humans feel almost guilty when feeling lost or not knowing which path is the correct one to take. You’ll get recommendations from all sides & although advice can be helpful, I find the best way to really find your way is to soul search & dive deep into what makes you, you.

Take ownership of your strengths, your short comings, what you’ve loved in the past & what you love now. Truly ask yourself, “What Makes Me Happy?”

You know what makes me happy?

Writing.

Looking back, my whole life I’ve loved the craft. I would keep journals of my thoughts, hopes & dreams for so many years.

I wrote short stories at 7 years old. I made children’s books out of construction paper & sold them to my neighbors. My one neighbor still has one of my “books” to this day.

As a little girl, I wanted to be like Harriet from Harriet the Spy & write down everything. As I got older, I dreamed of becoming a journalist & tv reporter. I was nosy, loved drama & always wanted to find out the scoop on everything. Every chance I took whether it was for fun or my high school newspaper, I was always writing. But unfortunately, like many of us do, I listened too hard to other people.

They would tell me newspapers were a dying bread & you can’t make lots of money doing that. Or they would tell me journalists were too saturated & I wouldn’t be unique enough. I became hard on myself, not thinking I would be good enough. So I changed my path.

And the path I chose isn’t terrible. I’m still proud of my accomplishments. It’s just funny how writing always seems to come back to my life in some form. My Nana used to call me the future Barbara Walters. 😊

Since I listened to others more than myself, I spent my college years learning about the human mind & personalities. Although I found it interesting, I always felt like something was off. One semester I decided to take one writing course, & ended up being referred to the college newspaper the following semester.

And guess what? I loved it!

Clearly, I’ve been oblivious to my calling. I brush it off as something I can do well, I guess? But always went with plans b, c & d.

It wasn’t until I read this passage in Oprah’s book that everything just clicked. It was in that moment I was like “yes, this is me.”

When it comes to your life, you have to find what makes you light up. Sure, I’m not saying you won’t find a career that pays bills well. Or maybe you like doing something as merely a hobby. I believe people can have multiple paths.

It’s so very important to not lose your passions. Passions are what make us stand out from the crowd. And although people might not see the vision, as long as you do, that’s all that should matter.

Take yourself back to when you were really young & people would ask you, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Before society tainted your outlook on the world, what was it?

Yes I dreamed of being a journalist. But I also wanted to be an artist, a teacher for a while & an actress.

Clearly, I have a very creative soul. And I try to engage those traits through other ways. No, I may not have an abundance of acrylic paint & paint brushes, but I do have makeup brushes & I find my makeup routine to be an art in itself. I also love decorating the house & design in general.

These are the attributes that make me who I am. And I wouldn’t give that up for anything. As long as you enrich yourself in activities that feed the soul, happiness can be just around the corner.

My path led me to writing once again this year through blogging. The combination of sheer boredom [especially during stay at home order] & having the time, I decided why not write? I remember laying awake at night & wondering what I would do to fill my time. And the idea came to me like a freight train. I’ve considered it in the past but my insecurities always seemed to bite me in the ass. “What would people think?” “I’ll be made fun of.”

I don’t know if it’s my age or what, but I just don’t care what people think of me anymore. If it makes me happy, I’m going to do it.

And so, I shall write. I shall write until my hands are sore, because it’s one of the things I love.

And sure, I may not be the next Barbara Walters. But I’m B, & I think she’s pretty cool.

– B 🌿💕

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