organization, Self Growth

5 Reasons Letting Go Is So Damn Difficult!

Wanting a more simple life starts with letting go of what no longer serves us. Easier said than done am I right? I feel like I say this, but always end up saving tons of questionable items. Why is it so hard to let go in the first place? I wish I could just turn my feelings off for one second.

Recently, I helped my husband downsize his childhood belongings from six large storage containers to only one. It was quite the project but one we both knew was something to tackle. It got me thinking about why we hold onto certain things & also why it can be so hard to finally let go. It’s almost like the longer you own something, you start to believe whatever that something is, must be special & worth holding onto. And we discovered even though he forgot most of what was in these containers, the memories started flooding back. And this is why sentimental item can be the MOST difficult to let go. But any type of belongings, if we place too much meaning on said item can become difficult to throw away. Here are 5 reasons why letting go can be so damn difficult.

You Are Still Living in the Past

Nostalgia can be a precious thing. Whether it’s a smell, an object or even a single thought , these things tie us to what we once were. We almost hold onto things for the sole purpose of trying to preserve our memories.

Especially with physical objects, we almost keep these things with the fear of forgetting. We must remember the most powerful aspect of our memories are ourselves. We must let go of said fear & trust we will remember things in our minds. Again, don’t let your objects hold so much credit. You are far more than what you own.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but sentimental items are very difficult for me to declutter. I have been biting the bullet though & challenging myself to go through these items brutally. And through this process, I’ve learned a lot about myself & the things I hold near & dear to my heart. In my 5 Things To Keep In Mind When Decluttering Sentimental Items, I pinpointed key factors that helped me downsize my keepsakes in half!

I felt like I was holding onto too many past memories that ultimately made me feel stuck & less likely to move forward in my life. Although I still have plenty of sentimental items to look back on & cherish, I allowed myself to be rid of the pointless emotional baggage that was taking up space in my home. You need to remember life is constantly moving & you will have far more memories & keepsakes ahead. Make room for the future by narrowing down your past.

You Feel Guilty Giving It Up

Maybe you have a pit in your stomach for purchasing something so expensive you never use. Or perhaps you were gifted something & although the gesture is always sweet, you just don’t use it. These feelings of guilt should not become a burden to your mind.

If you feel guilty over whether you should get rid of something, you should always be rid of that item. That mental turmoil will only make matters worse. I always believe it is better to let go of something you don’t use so it can be treasured by someone else.

And if you are having difficulty letting go an item because it was either passed down to you by a family member or given to you as a gift, ideally the person shouldn’t be upset if you no longer want something. Either return it to the sender or give it to someone who would better appreciate it. Material items should rarely have such pressures of value. And if they do hold lots of value, finds ways to use it or display it. Otherwise, let it go.

Fear of Needing it in the Future

This concept reminds me of everyone buying tons of toilet paper in the beginning of the pandemic. Fear & consumerism when tied together, create chaos. You can’t go walking around with the mindset of the world is ending or “I’ll never be able to find this again.” That’s when hoarding develops. And we really don’t want that. In today’s world, it is rather easy to find certain items online. If at any point you are missing an item or need it again, you can always repurchase it later.

This is why when shopping I don’t purchase just incase items or bulk items. To me, it just seems like a waste of space, money & product. Save some for the rest of us please. I think a lot of people have this notion that if you hold onto something for those just in case moments, it saves them money in the long run. I have noticed this is a wrong way of thinking.

Rarely do I feel grateful for having kept certain things for those just in case items. For example, I’ve had this Christmas sweater I wore one time but have held onto it JUST IN CASE we have an ugly christmas sweater party to go to. The future is always questionable & who truly new we wouldn’t be having large get togethers with friends for a year. By the time we actually have a party, I’m going to want a brand new outfit!

What Will People Think?

Repeat after me, stop caring what people think of you! If a person truly cares if you get rid of something, maybe you should gift it to them. This is your life to live so if you feel overwhelmed by the clutter in your home, don’t waste anymore time.

I’ll be honest, I probably still own plenty of things other people told us we HAD to have when owning a home. But slowly I will even downsize these items because most MUST HAVE items are useless in my opinion. And if there comes a time we truly need something, we will buy it. Simple as that.

It Hints You Were Wrong

Whatever it may be, it’s ok to admit it wasn’t right & it’s healthy to finally let it go. Life is too short to be living with things & people that don’t serve you. And if anything else, these wrongdoings can be seen as lessons leading us to our correct path.

Admitting you were wrong about something can be a hard pill to swallow. But it’s also extremely human & liberating. Maybe you were wrong about a certain style of clothing working for you. Or in a more deep sense, maybe a certain person in your life is wrong for you. These mistakes & lessons are normal & a part of life.

I truly hope these tips help you have more clarity with the idea of having a clutter free life. Comment down below what holds you back from letting go.

-B

Self Growth

How To Be Resilient Even When The World Feels Against You

For most of my 20’s I felt pretty lost. Every time I thought I reached that Ah Ha moment, life would push back & resist me from my destination. And my initial reactions were annoyance & discouragement over whether I’d ever have it all figured out.

The thing is, I don’t think we ever have EVERYTHING figured out in this life. That’s the beauty of it really. Not to sound cliche, but life is this constant journey. As we age & more years go by, we are forever striving for more, evolving as individuals & molding ourselves into these creatures of endless possibilities.

But I completely understand the struggle of pursuing certain aspirations & watching them blow up in your face. I’ve been there countless times. And I’ve had my fair share of sleepless nights, crying into my pillow wishing things would just fall into place already.

I’ve always been a rather dramatic person. Blame that on my zodiac sign (Leo the lion). I am a great mix of positivity, always down for fun with a sprinkle of “my life is insane.” So, when I found myself as a lost psychology student who should have probably stuck with journalism & was graduating with no plan whatsoever, I went into panic mode.

People told me my degree wouldn’t get me anywhere without more education. And as someone who hated the idea of more school, brushed that off as a silly threat. Around 7 years later, the most I’ve used my degree for was babysitting rowdy children & writing advice posts for you all. So, I guess they had a point.

In all honesty though, I never regretted my decision on my college studies. Sure, sometimes I question why I switched majors half way through & went with focusing on the human mind, but whatever. To quote my dad, “It is what it is.”

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Yes, my advice is starting with a basic inspirational quote. Deal with it. But as cheesy as this saying is, I love to follow it. There is no sense in worrying about the past. My decisions were made & if I don’t like it, the only thing to really do now is to change my future. And every moment, good or bad has lead me to where I am now. So, I’m happy.

Going through tough times of finding jobs & discovering my passions all lead me to the person I am today. I’m stronger, wiser & full of “don’t do as I did” type of advice. So, you’re welcome.

Every rejection letter, ghosting & down right NOPES lead me to this very moment. I had times where I wanted to completely give up. I thought I wasn’t meant for anything. I was going to quit or just settle in something I hate but was good at forever & then die of old age having never accomplished anything grand.

Related Post: Let’s Celebrate Our Small Wins for Once

MEET YOUR OBSTACLES HEAD ON

But when you finally muster up the courage to actually make a change & follow your heart, it can send you to someplace beautiful. In my post, What Truly Makes Me Happy, I discuss how a single book changed my perspective on life completely. Thanks to good ol’ Oprah Winfrey & her novel, “The Path Made Clear”, I learned you have to dive deep into reflecting on yourself to discover your true passions. And mine? Well, you can guess what it is by my blog. But this book taught me to listen to myself & my own feelings to find my calling.

For most of my 20’s, I primarily followed the paths & advice of other people way too much. I changed my major in college on the sole purpose of running away from a path that was a “dying bread.” Which, journalism is definitely NOT dying. And I get it, when life is tough & you’ve been knocked down over & over again, the likely suggestions is to receive help from others. Not all advice is bad. And help, when done right, can move you forward to great things. But I found, I was finding advice in the wrong places. Every idea that was sent to me caused me to roll my eyes.

DON’T CHOOSE THE EASY ROUTE

When shit got hard, instead of pushing back, I sat down & wallowed in my own self pity. I chose a path that was close by, easy & well below my full potential. But there’s comfort in safety. And it was definitely a safety net. When people asked me how work was I had to smile huge & hold back my feelings of complete misery & boredom. It was money & I had somewhere to go so I shut up. But deep down I knew I wanted more for myself. I just wasn’t doing anything about it.

DON’T STOP WORKING ON YOURSELF

For 4 entire years, I stayed at my safety net & never made a plan to bust out. It actually took a pandemic & being furloughed to gain the courage of even considering other options for myself. So, thank you coronavirus….seriously. Being stuck inside & fully being alone with my thoughts for months caused me to make a change. It was only me, myself & I ( & my fiance) who encouraged me to start this blogging journey. I stared fear, judgment & resistance in the face & powered through. For once, I have gone after something I’ve been wanting for years.

It’s funny how the greatest parts of my life: my relationship & my passion for writing fell into my lap because I took away those expectations & just let life happen. I took a risk & just went for it! And her I am: 4 months later, writing my little heart out & doing the damn thing one word at a time.

-B

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