intentional living, Self Growth

How To Be More Present & Live in The Moment

You know what habit I would love to break this year? Scrolling endlessly on my phone. I think a lot of us can relate to waking up & immediately picking up our phones & placing energy & hours scrolling through Tiktok or Instagram which is a never ending pool of content. It’s like we develop this irrational fear of missing out. When in reality all we are missing out on is the occasional photograph of someone’s brunch or a grainy sunset picture. And I’m just as guilty for falling into the trap of being sucked into this fake aspect of life. It’s frustrating to me because I have slowly adapted to a more minimalistic way of living. I’ll get rid of bags & bags of junk throughout my home. But I have yet to fully embraced one of the most crucial aspects of simple living, which is actively being present & looking up from that screen.

In A Technologically Sound World – How Can We Escape The Noise?

As the world has progressed technologically from the coming of age of dial up computers to having mini computers at our finger tips; it has become much more difficult to turn off the noise. And in some ways, technology has allowed us to grow in such positive ways. But like anything in this life, while something may be beneficial; there can be an equal amount of aspects that make it toxic. And that is why there needs to be a balancing act to the process. As a blogger for instance, without social media & the internet, my blog would be rather nonexistent to the world. I am able to express my creative talents in ways I couldn’t imagine. In the same breath, I find myself battling thoughts of imposture syndrome or comparison. And although we know the common quote, “comparison is the thief of joy,” you will still see me scrolling through someone’s highlight reel & deciding how I can make mine just as nice if not better. With the help of the minimalistic mindset, I want to let go of these feelings & truly unplug & start living with intent.

So, How Do We Break The Cycle?

I’m not saying you need to deactivate all your social media platforms & convert back to flip phones. Although, there are some instances where I miss the so called “good ol’ days”. I’d rather practice being more mindful & use these platforms as tools to help us grow. And remember, your presence on social media doesn’t define who you are as a person. I think we all tend to get caught up in the “character” we seem to play as we curate those aesthetically pleasing feeds.

Don’t Let The First Thing You See in the Morning Be Your Phone

Everything seems to be synced to our phones now a days – even our alarm clocks. And this is why it tends to become ingrained in us to turn off the alarm & immediately swipe though notifications, calls or messages. I suggest to put the phone down & take care of those essential morning tasks first. Grab a glass of water, brush your teeth & fully wake up a bit before placing your attention to these phones of ours. Most of the time, these notifications can wait at least a few minutes. Plus, if you allow yourself to wake up properly, you are able to articulate those messages better. And if you are ones to fully embrace old school ways of life, maybe consider purchasing an actual alarm clock.

Turn off Notifications

Once I turned notifications off of certain apps on my phone, I became less distracted & more productive. Apps like Instagram, Facebook or TikTok are perfect examples of social media that don’t need to constantly grab our attention. And quite honestly – I’ve learned posting on these apps regularly really takes away from our real lives. Even email apps can become distracting to me. I’ve learned to turn off the notifications and check my inbox when it works best for me.

Not Everything Needs To Be Picture Worthy

I love capturing moments especially since we have cameras at our finger tips. But I feel like there are times where we choose to do something just because it’s picture worthy. The “pictures or it didn’t happen” mindset can take away from the experience. If you are taking photos simply for the sake of your social media feed, I think you need to reevaluate your perspective. Now, I still love capturing moments in still form & video. But I do it for myself & my sentimental memories. I’m a bit old school as well & love printing photos & creating flip through albums.

Oversharing Leads To Lack of Mystery

One of my biggest pet peeves is when you are catching up with someone & you are telling them about a trip or something that has been going on in your life & they cut you off by saying, “oh yes, I already saw it on your socials.” It got me wondering if I too was getting caught up in the habit of over sharing. And I think we all are in the habit of over sharing our lives to the outside world with technology. When we have the luxury of typing out anything that is on our minds in a given moment, it’s not always good. Sometimes thoughts need to be left unsaid or kept to ourselves. Whether it’s a photo of our breakfast or a play by play of our weekend – I think we all have fallen into the trap of capturing the moments for the views, likes & attention.

are you looking to change your technology habits & routines? maybe you too, are looking to downsize your social media consumption & look up from that phone of yours…

-B

Health, Self Growth

Don’t Let Negative Energy Put You in A Funk

Energy, whether it be positive or negative, flocks to me like a virus (is that analogy too triggering?). Not to get all cosmic with you, but we need to learn to protect our auras. Raise your hand if you are an empath? *raises both hands way up high* I’ve found I am someone who embraces emotions even when they aren’t my own. And sometimes those emotions aren’t always pretty. What do we do when we are constantly faced with negative energy? And how do we protect ourselves from letting said energy affect our lives?

I think we first need to understand the idea of empaths.

In my own definition, I find empaths to be warriors of emotions. They absorb energies from people & make them our own. They take the analogy “walk in someone else’s shoes” a little too far. If you are reading this thinking, “oh my gosh, that’s me”…this post is for you. I’ve been really trying to work on this side of myself & have been doing a bit of research & I think I’ve found some ways we can control this “superpower” we have.

Yes, I’m saying being an empath is a superpower. I think once we understand it better & learn to set boundaries for ourselves, we can use these traits for good. It’s when we surround ourselves with too much negativity and even toxicity, this is when being an empath isn’t too fun. Especially when those people are one’s we can’t necessarily cut out (ie. colleagues or family members)

UNDERSTAND THE FUNDAMENTALS OF EMOTIONS

We must first understand why people tend to gravitate to certain emotions. Use your empathic super power & understand we are all human & have a wide range of emotions from time to time. I’m sure you’ve had a bad day or even a bad month before. So, understanding where a person is coming from first, can help you in finding ways to then put those feelings into action. The thing about being human is we run on patterns. We tend to develop these habits that can, in turn, become traits in our personality. I tend to see people who side on negativity have in some way or another developed a bad habit, especially if the negativity is ongoing. Like any habitual trait, we must learn to combat it & not let it rule us. Don’t let negative thoughts become your comfort zone.

CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE

This might sound harsh but bare with me. Taking the minimalism techniques I talk about & applying them to people in our lives is so important. Never feel guilty about cutting someone out of your life (even if it is family). Yes, I said it. And I’m not taking that back. Life is too short to be prioritizing people who bring us down. And regardless if they are blood or not, certain people just have the ability to drain us emotionally. And we have to learn how to gracefully walk away. Especially when it’s people you meet by choice like friends & acquaintances. Never feel obligated to keep these people in your lives if all they do is suck the life out of you. I call these people emotional vampires. And why would we choose to keep these monsters around? I think the notion of quality vs quantity within friendships comes with age. I’d much rather have a few people in my circle who truly have my back instead of a bunch of people who don’t.

KEEP IN MIND LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE

I fully believe in the concepts of manifestation & what you feel is what you will attract. If we feel we are surrounding ourselves with too much negativity & would prefer not to, we must first observe our own behavior. Sometimes without even realizing it we can be letting ourselves get lost in toxic environments because in some ways we like the attention, find comfort in it or feel like there is no way out. But as I said before, the energy we let stay is our choice. So, decide wisely. I find people tend to make happiness into this vulnerable concept. Society seems to embrace bad news & has made it be this weirdly sought after trait. I find we need to let go of this notion & see emotions as balancing acts. It’s unrealistic to be heavily one sided on either emotion. We need to take our emotions as they come & place action in front of them.

SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

If there are people in your life who mean well & are still toxic feeling, another opinion is to set clear boundaries. Without even realizing it, people in your life could be preventing you from your dream life. People in your life can mean very well, but their protective natures could be stopping you from pursuing what you’ve always wanted. Those same people can think they know what’s best for you & think their opinions are the only correct ones. Don’t ever abandon yourself. Always remember, you know yourself more than anyone else. During my research on these topics I came across some great responses to people who are trying to dictate your path:

“I appreciate your concern but I know what I want / know what I’m doing”

“That may be your case, but that is not my truth”

“I just need some space right now”

DETERMINE YOUR TRIGGERS

Awareness is golden. When we come to terms with what triggers us, we become more empowered as individuals. Regardless of what other people may or may not understand about your boundaries, you need to take ownership of those feelings & protect yourself when you feel it necessary. Whether that’s creating a smaller circle of friends, exiting certain topics of discussion or letting go of old habits; these actions will guide you to a better understanding of yourself & you will gain a sense of power that you may have lost.