Self Growth

To The Ones Who Dream To Be Mothers on Mother’s Day

Time seems to freeze as I wait patiently for those two pink lines. And as I look & stare at a wish that was promised, I slowly come to & realize it was simply just a dream.

Month after month, I grieve over & over a loss I have no idea what it’s like to even have. Out of all the things I’ve gone through, this has been the one to really test me. I’ve had to accept the fact some things are unfortunately out of our control.

I’ve always wanted to be a mother. And when my husband & I decided to try, I had no idea it isn’t always easy. “If my husband just looks at me, I get pregnant”…”if you just relax, it will happen”…..”have you considered adoption?” When you have comments like these circling your mind, you find yourself feeling like you are that 1%.

And I’d be lying if I didn’t ask the question, “when will it be our turn?”

With Mother’s Day [ in the US] falling in May, I felt like it was a beautiful time to advocate for those who dream about being a mother who haven’t been blessed with one Earth side quite yet, but yearn for it everyday. Now, before I go any further – I’d like to preface everyone’s ttc journey looks different. So, when I say this is going on month seven for us, I’m not looking at this as a comparison game or debate on who has it worse. I’m simply vulnerably sharing my experience so far & hope other’s who read this, feel less alone.

I’m a very glass half full type of gal. Even on my hardest days, I try & take a step back & find that silver lining. I have gradually learned to have faith in the process. The ttc journey feels long, strenuous & exhausting when you are in it. Each month, I feel the hopeful butterflies in my stomach & simultaneously try & hold myself together when it’s another no [ for now]. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t hit me for a loop. I’ve had to scream out “surrender” & wave that white flag in a sense.

It’s a take it day by day & each appointment type of ride. In a strange twist of fate, I am grateful because this process has strengthen me as a woman. It has strengthened my marriage & my definition of love. And it has taught me to appreciate life a lot more. The concept of enjoying the journey is so so true.

And although we have established more of an acceptance to the journey & patience like no other – we still have faith our time is coming.

📌 it for later

To the women who wish to be mothers, please celebrate.

To take more of a positive spin, I declare all women who are manifesting motherhood, to please – celebrate yourselves this Mothers Day. Instead of making this day a day of dread or yearning for something you still don’t have, why not switch the narrative.

Carve Out a Moment To Pray or Write Down Your Hopes & Dreams

If you are religious, take a few minutes with God & pray for your babies. Have faith these hopes will come to fruition in time. You can even spend a few minutes writing these wishes down on paper. Be as vulnerable & detailed as you want. When we release those intrusive thoughts, we can better take on the obstacles life throws at us.

To the partners, send your love a card / letter / have a deep conversation

This process is a team effort. And knowing your partner has your back & understands your struggles can make all the difference. This can be a lonely process, & quite frankly – each person in the partnership should be celebrated. The emotions of both people need to be considered. This can remind us that what truly matters is love.

It’s ok to mourn

There is nothing wrong with sitting out on days that may be triggering to you & your psyche. Whether it’s Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, baby showers or gender reveals – you have the right to say no. One of the things I have had to understand is you may be seeing other people becoming blessed with what you want, before you. And that may sting. Recently, I’ve come up with a mindset to better handle said situations. I say to myself, if they can be blessed with a child, my prayers will be answered as well.

celebrate the women & parents in your life

My mother is my ride or die. She has been there for me through everything & vice versa. Same goes for my dad, but now he’s rooting for me from the clouds. It’s so important to show appreciation to ones who raised you – whether they are biological parents, non-biological, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, colleagues etc. When we have that solid support system, going through moments like starting a family for instance, can make it more tolerable.

let’s start a discussion…

I don’t usually ask this, but if you are comfortable – I’d love it if you shared your stories of motherhood, fatherhood & starting a family. Share some advice, kind words & motivation to me & whoever may need it today. I pray, if you are anything like me that those pink lines show up in real life next time.


Self Growth

Why Rebranding Doesn’t Stop At Your Blog: How To Reinvent Yourself

I’ve gone through personal “rebrands” throughout my life – from switching what sport I was playing, to becoming a dancer in high school [ with no prior dance experience ]. I would change my clothing styles or hair color & hope those small tweaks would lead to a new life for myself. And as I’m in my 30’s now, that rebranding or reinventing myself hasn’t stop & I’ve been itchy for a change. The rebranding process is so crucial in the blogging world & sometimes makes the biggest difference in stats & popularity. It got me thinking, the same results could happen if I continued this with my personal life.

For me personally – going through an extreme loss this past year has changed me a lot. In a grief standpoint, it is quite normal & I’ve spent some time focusing on my healing process & being extra kind to myself. Although they say you don’t want the trauma to change you a ton – I’m actually really happy with the person I am today, regardless that the heartbreak of a loved one passing [ my dad ] was the cause. I’ve became quite the reader these days, I am trying to balance a more realistic lifestyle when it comes to living with intention & I’ve gained a much needed backbone.

If you are also looking to reinvent yourself in some shape or form, here’s where you should start:

Determine Your Why

Why are you looking to make a change in your life? Are you striving for better routines? Are you wanting to cut a bad habit out? Or are you just wanting to help yourself reach specific goals? Determining your why will initiate this game plan for your life. For me, my interest in a rebrand was looking in my closet, & not liking anything I had in my wardrobe. Since the pandemic, I became lazy when it comes to my style & now – I’m looking to rediscover that love for fashion & beauty. And then from there, I wanted to make some personality changes without losing the essence of who I am. I can honestly say, I’m the most sure of myself than I have ever been.

Change Up Your Habits

Are there certain lifestyle habits that are holding you back? For me, I am striving to be the healthiest version of myself, so four months ago, I decided to venture into living an alcohol free life. And ever since than, I’ve been able to take back control of my personality. If you are interested, I can definitely go more in depth on why I choose to live an alcohol free life going into my 30’s. Another habit I’m striving to break is spending far too much time starring at a phone screen. To replace that time & energy, I’ve been spending more time reading actual books which in term, helps me relax & maintain a more calm presence.

Create a Morning / Evening Routine

Morning & evening routines are so popular these days – usually filled with aesthetic concepts. But there is truth in having routines & how they can help ground us. Now, I tend to think of routines in a more simpler way. For instance, setting your morning alarm for a set time, making some form of beverage [ my favorite being chai tea lattes ] & in the evenings – setting aside time to read. Slowing down & creating these rituals can really transform how you take on the busier ends of the week. If you are interested, I can go more in depth on my morning / evening routines lately.

Appearance Can Make a Difference

As superficial as it sounds, changing up your outer appearance can actually make you change internally as well. I’ve been looking through my fall wardrobe & have decided I want to expand my style & add a few new pieces. At the moment, I’m loving neutral shades with mixes of textures. As much as I love athleisure wear, I’ve also fell into a rut where I want to dress much cuter.

Determine Your Goals

These can be short term or more long term goals – but I love planning out goals for myself [ especially with the new year approaching ]. Whether it’s wanting to start a family, adding a pet into the mix or looking to purchase a new home – it’s fun & inspiring to brainstorm on our lives. I think sometimes we tend to just go with the flow & let time pass us by, when there is always something to strive for. Even if it’s a small goal of waking up a little earlier during the week, or trying out a new workout class. Not only do goals make us feel accomplished, but it also allows us to romanticize our lives again.