Minimalism, Self Growth

11 Things I Intentionally Say No To

As someone who has been a chronic people pleaser / yes person for many years, I went into this new year with a different perspective. Saying no more often has been such a powerful tool in gaining back freedom & growth in my life. This mentality has encouraged me to choose what I do, listen to, & even say wisely. Here are 11 Things I Intentionally Say No To…

Being Bothered If People Don’t Like Me…

When there are 7 billion people on this planet, chances are you won’t vibe with all of them. Once I learned to let go the heartache that came from someone not liking me or not wanting to be my friend, the more at peace I felt with myself. I turned the statement more inward & discovered there were people I didn’t particularly like either. And that’s ok. It’s actually really freeing when you stop expecting every single person you cross paths with to like you. You ultimately learn to love yourself more & find the people who are meant to be apart of your lives.

Believing Everyone’s Life is Perfect

I actually deleted my Instagram for this very reason. I was tired of comparing my life to other people’s highlight reels. They are just that – highlights. Or even purposefully curated photos to hide the normalcies & downfalls of life. Nobody’s life is perfect. We all experience ups & downs on our own timeline. Photos are still moments in time. We have no idea [ unless the person tells us] if they had a breakdown before the selfie was taken. We don’t know if that person received bad news in the middle of an event. Or the event wasn’t as wonderful as the photos showcase. I’d rather stick with my own life, power through the rollercoaster moments & create one that suits me. No more, will I ever want to have someone else’s life.

Responding Immediately

This is a habit I’m really trying to break. I’m so used to replying to my phone so quickly regardless how busy I am. I used to think it was a talent to multitask that well. But having this habit, only allows people to think you are always available to their beck & call. On purpose, I’ve been retraining myself to reply to texts or phone calls a day later or even a week later if I’m THAT busy. I’d rather be intentional with my time & reply to something when I’m fully ready. In the world of technology, this has been rather difficult. I don’t respond to emails or notifications [ I actually have notifications turned off of my phone completely]. I let phone calls sometimes go to voicemail & get back to them later. I have even let people in my life know they don’t need to reply right away / respond when you have time. Let them know, they can also be intentional with their responses. By practicing this new way of responding has helped me gain control of my busy life.

Being Authentic With My Feelings & Conversations

It’s so easy to say to someone you are doing fine when they ask how you are. But I’m tired of not being authentic with how I’m feeling & telling it like it is. If I’m having an off day, I say it – unapologetically. I don’t care if me being true to myself makes others feel uncomfortable. I think if you are more real with people in this way, you actually create better relationships because there’s no hint of fakeness. Not only this, but you are becoming more comfortable in your own skin in the process. Being vulnerable, sharing in depth conversations instead of staying on the surface, is where those authentic relationships lie.

Impulse Purchasing

I’ve been wanting to be more intentional with my purchases. Instant gratification only satisfies you in the moment. Most of the time, when I instantly buy something, I end up wasting money & donating said item a few months later. I’ve recently been purchasing quite a few items for our wedding & new outfits for certain events. And on one hand, I’ve allowed myself to replace my old decluttered items in my closet with updated ones that showcase the person I am now. But I also want to get ahold of retail therapy. The things I bring into our home need to hold a purpose in some way. If I do see something I like, I delay the purchase as long as possible. If I still want the item, I will know I truly want / need it.

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People Who Drain My Energy

I’ve learned it’s healthy to have a balance of alone time & community but with the right people. If you are surrounding yourself with people who ultimately drain you of your energy, it’s not beneficial. I’d rather spend my time alone in these cases. But over the last couple of years, I’ve really curated a group of people who truly add to my life & it has made a difference in my individual growth.

Having Too Long of a To-Do List

When you expect yourself to complete a to-do list that is pages long, I personally immediately lose interest in it all together. Instead, my to-do list on my phone usually holds a max of 3 tasks per day. Whatever I want to complete in that direct moment, I will have on my list. It’s not to say I don’t have other tasks I wish to complete later, but only seeing 3 tasks visually is more motivating.

Hectic Mornings

I’ve been adamantly establishing slow living into my routines. Regardless of my busy schedule, I have learned slower mornings, routines with fewer products or steps really make a difference in my mood. On the weekends, when I’m not busy with work or other obligations, I take those mornings to sleep in a little later, make a warm beverage or smoothie & sit in my chair in silence or reading a book. This has also has taught me the importance of “me time” & prioritizing relaxation into my routine regularly.

Having High Expectations

I struggle with being heard & taken seriously in situations. With that, I tend to lean on the side of controlling a times. When things aren’t going the way I planned or people are just not listening, I get frustrated. Lately, I’ve learned to have lower expectations on people & situations. It’s not that I’m giving up exactly. But I’ve found when my expectations are high & they aren’t met, I’m only hurting myself. I’m learning to go with the flow & let things play out. The only person & reactions I can control are my own.

A Perfectly Clean Home

Instead of calling our home messy, I like to use the term “lived in” because we are doing just that – living! So many minimalistic homes are seen perfectly clean & organized. And the reality is your home won’t be like that 24/7. I will say, when you properly declutter you will ultimately have less to clean up. But don’t get yourself down if you have toys all over the living room or clothing all over your closet floor. We are imperfect humans just trying to live our lives.

People Adding Unnecessary Problems To My Plate

Setting boundaries & saying no go hand in hand. My life is busy enough & when other people throw obligations into the ring sometimes, it just adds to my stress. Going back to the first point in not caring if people like me, saying no to their requests or “favors” is a lot easier. It’s not to say I won’t ever help someone out or agree with a suggestion at some point. But I’ve learned sometimes, it’s not mentally help to add anything else on my plate. As you know, I like to keep things relatively simple.

Minimalism, Minimalism, Self Growth

Mindsets To Leave Behind In The New Year

The start of a new year always sparks inspiration to clean house, reflect & begin again as Taylor Swift would say. I’m always finding an excuse to declutter & downsize my belongings but I’ve also taken some time to reflect on non material items I wish to change as I’m feeling 2022. [ alright – I’ll be done with the T Swift references – as they just come naturally all too well for me. HA! ]. Last year, I talked about how we can all simplify our lives – check out that post here if you haven’t already. But to extend off that post, I wanted to share with you some mindset changes I’ll be leaving behind this year.

Spending So Much Time on Social Media

I’ve battled with having a healthier relationship with social media & at the end of 2021, I was posting a ton on my personal accounts & just living for the photo op which was a bit of a regression if you ask me. Some of it could have been because I was going through grief & it was a way to heal, BUT I’d much rather go into the new year with better ways to mend such grief & focus on self care offline. I’ve talked about how I primarily use social media for my blog & although this is true, I was definitely getting carried away with my online persona. Even for my blog, I want to be more intentional as a blogger & truly walk the walk instead of just talk the talk.

Less Isn’t Always More

This may be a little contradictory if you’ve been a reader of my blog from the beginning. I decided to be less strict when it comes to living a minimalist lifestyle. Sometimes less isn’t always more & I don’t want to limit myself to x amount of items. Sometimes it’s nice to treat yourself now & then. And I don’t want to feel deprived. Minimalism, if you decide to follow it, looks different for everyone. Figure out what works for you & go with that. The main goal is to be happy in this life & not to be so tied down to our belongings. But if say, you love a large book shelf filled with novels, enjoy your library!

Stop Delaying Travel & Experiences

“It’s just not the right time” or “let’s wait until next year” are statements I want to leave in the past. I want to live more in the moment, experience all I can & say yes to adventures more often. I’ve learned it’s more rewarding to spend money on experiences than material items. And there’s still so much I wish to see & do. I’ll be manifesting milestones & adventures ten fold this year.

Letting Other’s Treat You In Ways You Don’t Deserve

I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a doormat but people pleasing is definitely something I’ve been working on lately. There have been too many times where I let my kindness get the best of me & allow people to treat me in ways that aren’t deserving. At the end of 2021 & going into this new year, I hope to develop more of a backbone & stand up for myself & my wishes in a respectable but firm manner. This means saying no more often & refraining from explaining myself to hard.

Include Self Care In Your Daily Routine

The world paints this picture that tells us we should be nonstop hustling to succeed. I’ve learned how important it is to implement self care [ even if it’s 10 min a day ] into our routines. Especially someone who is heavily wedding planning, taking time for yourself some is so important. We don’t want us to burn out. During the month of December, I took my longest hiatus from blogging – an entire month. And although I was casually writing content for the new year when I had the time, the pressure to keep up with a self inflicted schedule was no more. I was able to focus on real life tasks & enjoy the holidays with my family. I think all content creators should consider breaks more often. It’s nice to be consistent, but it’s also good & healthier to step away for a while. And speaking of self care activities – some of my favorites include binge watching a tv show, getting lost in a book, have phone calls with loved ones, taking warm showers / baths, getting active or listening to music. Plus, when you make time for your life outside of blogging, you come up with content to write about. It’s a win win for everyone.

Conclusion

Each new year provides a fresh page to an unwritten chapter. It’s always exciting to see how we wish to write said story. With this in mind, reflecting on your growth, perspectives & feelings toward your life will allow you to evolve & make each sequel to your own personal novel another page turner.

What are some things you’d like to leave behind in 2021?

-B

Minimalism, Minimalism, organization

10 Things You Can Declutter In 2022

The new year is always a favorite time – with the glitz & glam & thoughts of fresh starts. I’m not one to make large resolutions, but I do like to reflect on my past year & gain perspectives that will entice growth. Most importantly, I love going through my physical baggage of the past year & cleanse my space with a proper declutter. Here are 10 things you can declutter in 2022.

1. Clothing That No Longer Defines The New You

I plan to go into more detail on decluttering your closet in the next few months, but one of my favorite spaces to downsize is my wardrobe. I’m going into the new year wanting to experiment with fashion & be rid of any items that no longer make me feel like the new me.

2. Holiday Decor You Won’t Use Next Season

As you pack holiday decor away, instead of buying more storage boxes – go through each piece & ask yourself if you’ll want to use it next holiday season. I know I’ve personally accumulated quite a few Christmas decorations in the course of the pandemic era. I wanted to make my feel extra cheering. But as I put things away, I’ve discovered the lack of space we have to store such items. It’s time to downsize for sure.

3. Who You Follow

Go through all social media platforms & clean house. Let go of any accounts that no longer inspire or make you happy. I no longer keep the mindset of follows for follows. It feels less genuine & I’d rather be authentic going into the new year.

4. Digital Files & Emails

Although these items can be discreetly stored on tablets with very little visual clutter, it’s important to go through these forms of technology & clean out your digital storage.

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5. Books You’ve Already Read in 2021

Unless you love having shelves filled with books, it may be keen to declutter a few you’ve read in the past year. Make room for new ones & allow others to read ones you’ve loved. You can donate them to local libraries.

6. Purge Your Pantry or Fridge

Let go of any expired goods or foods you won’t eat in the new year. Perhaps you are trying to establish a healthier lifestyle. Get rid of any snacks or junk foods that would prevent this new habit. Start fresh with fresh groceries.

7. Expired Beauty Products

Did you know your makeup products have an expiration date? In the new year, I like to refresh my collection with a new foundation or other products. I will get rid of any products that are quite old or ones I know I will no longer use. It’s better for your skin.

8. Gifts You Won’t Use

During the holidays, we tend to bring in a lot of new items. Some of which aren’t suited for our lifestyles. Be honest with yourself & get rid of anything you don’t want. There is no need to have guilt. You can even regift certain items – just be sure it’s not in the same circle of people who gifted you first.

9. Masks

Don’t get rid of every single one quite yet. But I’m sure you’ve accumulated a collection by now. Let go of any masks that don’t fit properly or you don’t like. Clean them & donate them to shelters.

10. Sentimental Items

Sometimes, to move forward – we need to let go of the past. I have a feeling most of us hold onto physical items that represent such memories. Whether it’s greeting cards, letters, trinkets or event tickets – it is important to go through these items carefully & be sure we aren’t holding onto anything they will keep us stuck.

-B