organization, Self Growth

5 Reasons Letting Go Is So Damn Difficult!

Wanting a more simple life starts with letting go of what no longer serves us. Easier said than done am I right? I feel like I say this, but always end up saving tons of questionable items. Why is it so hard to let go in the first place? I wish I could just turn my feelings off for one second.

Recently, I helped my husband downsize his childhood belongings from six large storage containers to only one. It was quite the project but one we both knew was something to tackle. It got me thinking about why we hold onto certain things & also why it can be so hard to finally let go. It’s almost like the longer you own something, you start to believe whatever that something is, must be special & worth holding onto. And we discovered even though he forgot most of what was in these containers, the memories started flooding back. And this is why sentimental item can be the MOST difficult to let go. But any type of belongings, if we place too much meaning on said item can become difficult to throw away. Here are 5 reasons why letting go can be so damn difficult.

You Are Still Living in the Past

Nostalgia can be a precious thing. Whether it’s a smell, an object or even a single thought , these things tie us to what we once were. We almost hold onto things for the sole purpose of trying to preserve our memories.

Especially with physical objects, we almost keep these things with the fear of forgetting. We must remember the most powerful aspect of our memories are ourselves. We must let go of said fear & trust we will remember things in our minds. Again, don’t let your objects hold so much credit. You are far more than what you own.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but sentimental items are very difficult for me to declutter. I have been biting the bullet though & challenging myself to go through these items brutally. And through this process, I’ve learned a lot about myself & the things I hold near & dear to my heart. In my 5 Things To Keep In Mind When Decluttering Sentimental Items, I pinpointed key factors that helped me downsize my keepsakes in half!

I felt like I was holding onto too many past memories that ultimately made me feel stuck & less likely to move forward in my life. Although I still have plenty of sentimental items to look back on & cherish, I allowed myself to be rid of the pointless emotional baggage that was taking up space in my home. You need to remember life is constantly moving & you will have far more memories & keepsakes ahead. Make room for the future by narrowing down your past.

You Feel Guilty Giving It Up

Maybe you have a pit in your stomach for purchasing something so expensive you never use. Or perhaps you were gifted something & although the gesture is always sweet, you just don’t use it. These feelings of guilt should not become a burden to your mind.

If you feel guilty over whether you should get rid of something, you should always be rid of that item. That mental turmoil will only make matters worse. I always believe it is better to let go of something you don’t use so it can be treasured by someone else.

And if you are having difficulty letting go an item because it was either passed down to you by a family member or given to you as a gift, ideally the person shouldn’t be upset if you no longer want something. Either return it to the sender or give it to someone who would better appreciate it. Material items should rarely have such pressures of value. And if they do hold lots of value, finds ways to use it or display it. Otherwise, let it go.

Fear of Needing it in the Future

This concept reminds me of everyone buying tons of toilet paper in the beginning of the pandemic. Fear & consumerism when tied together, create chaos. You can’t go walking around with the mindset of the world is ending or “I’ll never be able to find this again.” That’s when hoarding develops. And we really don’t want that. In today’s world, it is rather easy to find certain items online. If at any point you are missing an item or need it again, you can always repurchase it later.

This is why when shopping I don’t purchase just incase items or bulk items. To me, it just seems like a waste of space, money & product. Save some for the rest of us please. I think a lot of people have this notion that if you hold onto something for those just in case moments, it saves them money in the long run. I have noticed this is a wrong way of thinking.

Rarely do I feel grateful for having kept certain things for those just in case items. For example, I’ve had this Christmas sweater I wore one time but have held onto it JUST IN CASE we have an ugly christmas sweater party to go to. The future is always questionable & who truly new we wouldn’t be having large get togethers with friends for a year. By the time we actually have a party, I’m going to want a brand new outfit!

What Will People Think?

Repeat after me, stop caring what people think of you! If a person truly cares if you get rid of something, maybe you should gift it to them. This is your life to live so if you feel overwhelmed by the clutter in your home, don’t waste anymore time.

I’ll be honest, I probably still own plenty of things other people told us we HAD to have when owning a home. But slowly I will even downsize these items because most MUST HAVE items are useless in my opinion. And if there comes a time we truly need something, we will buy it. Simple as that.

It Hints You Were Wrong

Whatever it may be, it’s ok to admit it wasn’t right & it’s healthy to finally let it go. Life is too short to be living with things & people that don’t serve you. And if anything else, these wrongdoings can be seen as lessons leading us to our correct path.

Admitting you were wrong about something can be a hard pill to swallow. But it’s also extremely human & liberating. Maybe you were wrong about a certain style of clothing working for you. Or in a more deep sense, maybe a certain person in your life is wrong for you. These mistakes & lessons are normal & a part of life.

I truly hope these tips help you have more clarity with the idea of having a clutter free life. Comment down below what holds you back from letting go.

-B

Lifestyle

How To Have a Minimalist Wedding

Our wedding was held on a “heat wave” of a day in Oklahoma surrounded by 75 of our friends & family. What started out as a rather large affair of inviting over 200 guests, slowly turned into the more intimate event I had always pictured for myself. Now, if you are unaware – we actually officially tied the knot on February 25th at our local courthouse. But on May 14th, we exchanged our own vows & hosted a much larger occasion which turned out to be a beautiful day!

As I’ve said before, I’m someone who had always pictured myself eloping to Vegas or some tropical destination, but of course – within all relationships, you need to compromise a bit & when my grandmother agreed to host the wedding at her estate, [ during a time where finding venues was rather hard thanks to the pandemic era we are still in], I felt it was the perfect sentimental way to bring together two families. Personally, I always thought I was going to be the type of bride who would love wedding planning since of my Type A nature & love for organization. But boy was I wrong! To be completely transparent with you, I’m so glad the wedding planning process is over. And although there are definitely many things we could have done differently, I couldn’t be happier with our wedding day. And I’m so grateful how intentional we remained throughout the process. Here’s how we kept our wedding minimal & ways you can implement minimalism into your special day.

Check out this blog post: How to Remain an Intentional Bride

Keep The Guest List Small

The fact we had a destination wedding & one during a pandemic definitely helped us keep our guest list to a low roar [ although we didn’t necessarily plan it that way]. By having less guests, it was easier to visit each table & have conversation with most of them. It’s so important to acknowledge those who have traveled all this way to celebrate you, & having a smaller guest list helped with this factor. A great way to keep the guest list smaller is limiting the number of guests per person. Really take into consideration the history you have with said guests, whether you know them well enough or if you’ve stayed in touch.

Only Family in Wedding Party

We decided early on to simply have family in the wedding party [ siblings, SIL’s & BIL’s ] because it was a lot easier in coordinating with everyone in terms of fittings & other wedding details along the way. We still invited all our closest friends & got awesome photos together. But this way, the stress of contacting more than seven people made the process a lot smoother. We knew family formals was a huge part the photography session, so having everyone match seemed like the smart move.

No Guest Favors

We nixed the concept of favors completely because I feel like most people leave them behind. Instead, we focused on items for the wedding party or family members with guitar themed socks for the guys, getting ready robes for the girls & my mom as well as matching earrings for the bridesmaids. My husband also chose to gift decanters to the groomsmen & his college friends [ which quite honestly was a TSA nightmare ]. We tried to have the mindset of choosing gifts they could use after the wedding.

No Kids Allowed

A tradition we completely ditched was not having a ring bearer or flower girl. We actually had a no young children policy because of the travel aspect. Although we love our nieces & nephews very much, we felt this was the better option for our situation. It allowed us to have a shorter ceremony & to party all night long.

Personal Sized Cake

Instead of a large wedding cake, we opted for a personalized red velvet cake & an array of favored cupcakes for the guests. This is such a perfect idea because you rarely eat the entire cake anyway. And I think we had tons of cupcakes leftover.

Simple Florals

I chose to have lots of greenery, babies breath as well as flowers in the shades of white, blush pink & burgundy. Our sweetheart table for example had merely greenery & a few candles over this white tablecloth. The yard itself with it’s natural landscapes were beautiful on there own, so there was very little to add. My favorite feature was our wedding arch or arbor. It gave an elegant yet rustic feel.

Sentimental Touches

One of the commonalities my husband and I share is the importance of sentimental value. Having the wedding at my grandparent’s home was a huge sentiment of course. But we also honored my dad through a bouquet locket of his photo, peonies in my bouquet in honor of my husband’s late grandfather, songs that represented loved ones who were with us in spirit, as well as writing our own vows. As you know, the loss of my father this past year has been a level of grief I’ve never experienced before. But the way he was honored this day was a beautiful thing with my brother & uncle giving the welcome speech & them along with my father’s surgical group walking me down the aisle was something for the books.

The Big Picture

Weddings are all about two families coming together as one & pronouncing your love for one another to the world. To find a love like we have found in each other is something I’m so grateful to have. Like part of our first dance goes, “somethings just go better together & probably always will.” I always knew Todd & I were destined for each other & would tie the knot eventually. And I’m so excited to finally announce I’m a whole damn wife! Here’s to the next chapter of our lives & all the adventures to come.

I’d love to keep the wedding series going, so please let me know what you’d like to see from me. I already have a few ideas in the works including a recap of our honeymoon in Maui as well as a “Wedding Things I Regret” or “Things That Wen’t Wrong” post. Be sure you are following me on social media to see photos from the wedding & Hawaii.

I’m so glad to be back on the blogging grind.

-B

Minimalism, Minimalism

How To Travel 10 Days in a Carry On Suitcase

I’ve made it a mission to put my minimalist lifestyle to the test when it comes to traveling. In the past, I’ve been known to overpack even on the shortest getaway. So, when I realized I would be traveling 10 days for my destination wedding AND 10 days for our honeymoon soon after, I figured this was the perfect time for such a challenge. Not to mention, we have to haul my wedding gown on the flight as well. By limiting myself to merely a carry on suitcase or small duffle bag, I learned it is possible to travel lightly & still have plenty. Here are a few things to consider when packing for your next adventure:

Check The Weather

One of the hugest culprits in packing heavy is preparing for all kinds of weather. Even on the most sunny vacations, I was known to still pack a rain jacket [ just in case]. Now, I try to trust my weather app & only pack according to the predicted weather. If an unexpected rain shower does occur, for instance – I can always purchase a jacket or umbrella at my destination. Naturally, I find warmer climates to be easier to pack for than colder destinations. So, when it came to preparing for our destination wedding in the South & our Maui honeymoon, I was lucky I didn’t need to pack any heavy boots or anything.

Plan Your Outfits / Activities

Although spontaneity is fun, I find when it comes to longer vacations / trips; having an itinerary of sorts is very helpful. Base your outfits & clothing to what you plan to do on your getaway. Our destination wedding for instance consisted of a lot of visiting & relaxing before the big day. I was smart in shipping a few items ahead of time like my rehearsal dinner dress, veil & the bridemaid’s morning of gifts. In all honesty, the goal was to be an outfit repeater that week. And since I was staying at a family home, I knew I could do laundry if need be. In terms of the honeymoon, I knew we were going to a luau, so I made sure to pack a tropical maxi dress. But for the most part, I knew Hawaii would consist of lots of bikinis & outdoor wear. Weeks before either of theses trips, I hung all the outfits up on my clothing rack. This allowed me to keep track of what I was bringing & prevent me from making any impulse purchases or overpack. I also kept in mind, I would probably do some shopping while we were in Maui anyway.

Wear the Bulkiest Items on the Airplane

This is my most favorite hack when it comes to packing light. My airplane attire always consists of leggings, a tank top or t-shirt, sneakers & a jacket or sweatshirt. Shoes & hoodies are two of the most bulky items to pack in the suitcase. Even though sandals can be easier to take on and off at TSA, I’m always grateful to have extra space for other necessities in my suitcase.

Packing Cubes vs. Rolling

I actually have never used packing cubes but have noticed from other people, they are VERY helpful in condensing space. I on the other hand, love rolling my clothing & or putting certain categories in zipblock bags. The way you organize & store your items in the suitcase makes all the difference. The reason I like the zipblock bag method is because I can release the air from the bag to make it very flat. I will admit this hack can seem rather wasteful so if you have any reusable methods [ besides packing cubes ] that do the same affect, let me know.

Travel Size Is Your Bestfriend

When it comes to makeup products or toiletries, having the smaller counterpart is the smartest move. Not to mention, TSA has certain regulations anyway. As a makeup lover, I try to only pack my smaller eyeshadow palettes during travels such as these. And in some cases, I will invest in travel size products like setting spray, shampoo, body / face wash & even mascara. Every space counts so you want to be efficient. Even when choosing purses for vacations, I lean towards small cross body styles or even clutches.

When in Doubt, Leave It At Home

I mentioned this in my older packing guide, which you can read here. But if you are questioning any item too hard, chances are you don’t need it. Really ask yourself why you want to bring / wear something before packing it. I can’t tell you how many times I would bring more clothing than necessary & only wear a quarter of the items. And if you DO end up needing something or forgetting something, you can always purchase it at your destination.

Choose Clothing Pieces That Are Versatile

If you already have a capsule wardrobe like me, you are already there in having clothing pieces that pair in multiple ways. For example, I packed a light grey t-shirt that I could wear with black shorts, white shorts, denim shorts or even jeans. Always start with your basics & work from there. Any additional or unique items can be added later. When it came to the honeymoon, I knew I wanted a few unique & tropical looking maxi dresses for dinners or the luau. I didn’t go overboard with this idea though & only packed two – a black & purple flower maxi dress I’ve had for a few years & a white floral maxi dress I found on Amazon.

Check Out This Capsule Wardrobe Challenge: I Tried Project 333 & This Is How It Went

Conclusion:

When seeing the world, you don’t want to feel weighed down by stuff. Although it can feel rather challenging at first, overtime it will become second nature. You’ll enjoy returning home to less laundry to do & you’ll quickly realize you don’t need much to enjoy yourselves. Who knows, maybe you’ll get to the point all you need is a backpack.

Where are you traveling to next?

Up for an even bigger challenge? watch me pack all of these items in a backpack in this IG REEL

-B