Instagram – Mind Beauty Simplicity

You know what habit I would love to break this year? Scrolling endlessly on my phone. I think a lot of us can relate to waking up & immediately picking up our phones & placing energy & hours scrolling through Tiktok or Instagram which is a never ending pool of content. It’s like we develop this irrational fear of missing out. When in reality all we are missing out on is the occasional photograph of someone’s brunch or a grainy sunset picture. And I’m just as guilty for falling into the trap of being sucked into this fake aspect of life. It’s frustrating to me because I have slowly adapted to a more minimalistic way of living. I’ll get rid of bags & bags of junk throughout my home. But I have yet to fully embraced one of the most crucial aspects of simple living, which is actively being present & looking up from that screen.

In A Technologically Sound World – How Can We Escape The Noise?

As the world has progressed technologically from the coming of age of dial up computers to having mini computers at our finger tips; it has become much more difficult to turn off the noise. And in some ways, technology has allowed us to grow in such positive ways. But like anything in this life, while something may be beneficial; there can be an equal amount of aspects that make it toxic. And that is why there needs to be a balancing act to the process. As a blogger for instance, without social media & the internet, my blog would be rather nonexistent to the world. I am able to express my creative talents in ways I couldn’t imagine. In the same breath, I find myself battling thoughts of imposture syndrome or comparison. And although we know the common quote, “comparison is the thief of joy,” you will still see me scrolling through someone’s highlight reel & deciding how I can make mine just as nice if not better. With the help of the minimalistic mindset, I want to let go of these feelings & truly unplug & start living with intent.

So, How Do We Break The Cycle?

I’m not saying you need to deactivate all your social media platforms & convert back to flip phones. Although, there are some instances where I miss the so called “good ol’ days”. I’d rather practice being more mindful & use these platforms as tools to help us grow. And remember, your presence on social media doesn’t define who you are as a person. I think we all tend to get caught up in the “character” we seem to play as we curate those aesthetically pleasing feeds.

Don’t Let The First Thing You See in the Morning Be Your Phone

Everything seems to be synced to our phones now a days – even our alarm clocks. And this is why it tends to become ingrained in us to turn off the alarm & immediately swipe though notifications, calls or messages. I suggest to put the phone down & take care of those essential morning tasks first. Grab a glass of water, brush your teeth & fully wake up a bit before placing your attention to these phones of ours. Most of the time, these notifications can wait at least a few minutes. Plus, if you allow yourself to wake up properly, you are able to articulate those messages better. And if you are ones to fully embrace old school ways of life, maybe consider purchasing an actual alarm clock.

Turn off Notifications

Once I turned notifications off of certain apps on my phone, I became less distracted & more productive. Apps like Instagram, Facebook or TikTok are perfect examples of social media that don’t need to constantly grab our attention. And quite honestly – I’ve learned posting on these apps regularly really takes away from our real lives. Even email apps can become distracting to me. I’ve learned to turn off the notifications and check my inbox when it works best for me.

Not Everything Needs To Be Picture Worthy

I love capturing moments especially since we have cameras at our finger tips. But I feel like there are times where we choose to do something just because it’s picture worthy. The “pictures or it didn’t happen” mindset can take away from the experience. If you are taking photos simply for the sake of your social media feed, I think you need to reevaluate your perspective. Now, I still love capturing moments in still form & video. But I do it for myself & my sentimental memories. I’m a bit old school as well & love printing photos & creating flip through albums.

Oversharing Leads To Lack of Mystery

One of my biggest pet peeves is when you are catching up with someone & you are telling them about a trip or something that has been going on in your life & they cut you off by saying, “oh yes, I already saw it on your socials.” It got me wondering if I too was getting caught up in the habit of over sharing. And I think we all are in the habit of over sharing our lives to the outside world with technology. When we have the luxury of typing out anything that is on our minds in a given moment, it’s not always good. Sometimes thoughts need to be left unsaid or kept to ourselves. Whether it’s a photo of our breakfast or a play by play of our weekend – I think we all have fallen into the trap of capturing the moments for the views, likes & attention.

are you looking to change your technology habits & routines? maybe you too, are looking to downsize your social media consumption & look up from that phone of yours…

-B

Lifestyle

I Read 11 Books in October | Monthly Wrap Up

October 28, 2022December 16, 2022 mindbeautysimplicity

Anyone else feel like October just flew by?! I can’t believe it. To those who participated in Blogtober, I hope it was a successful & fun month! I’m so happy I decided not to post daily this time around. Life has became too hectic for daily posting. On the other hand, I did manage to read 11 books this month! Like – how?! 10 physical books & one audiobook! And I also surpassed my yearly reading goal of 50 books! Before I begin this wrap up, I wanted to answer a frequently asked book related question – “how do I find the time to read so many books? I’m lucky to say I’m a relatively fast reader [ and the more i read – the faster i become ]. Also, I have revamped my routines to make reading more of a priority. My husband & I both have been reading pretty much every evening for the past 6 months. We find it relaxing & our way to unwind. Lately, we’ve been adding a bit of ambience by playing rain sounds with fall scenery on the TV. Highly recommend if you are trying to romanticize the autumn season. Regardless how many books you read a month, just picking up a book & finding something that helps you escape reality / expand your thoughts is something to be proud of. And I hope these wrap ups have sparked your interest in reading & inspired you to add a few to your TBR [ to be read ] lists. Let’s get into the wrap up…

Dark Age by Pierce Brown

I actually started this book at the end of September but completed it the first week of October. My husband actually recommended this series to me a few months back & I was pretty hesitant about it. Sci-fi / dystopian novels aren’t usually my thing. But he bated me by saying the series was like a combination of Hunger Games, Game of Thrones, Star Wars & Lord of the Flies all wrapped up in one – & so I read the first book back in May. And next thing you know, in the span of a few months I read the entire trilogy as well as the two books of his latest installment [ which takes place 10 years after the first 3 books ]. Dark Age in particular is the darkest & most gruesome of Pierce Brown’s books [ hence the title] . But don’t let that deter you away. These books are filled with so much action, a little bit of slow burn romance & very fast paced. Another thing I appreciate with this entire series is the shock value. I usually see twists from a mile away. But PB writes in such a way that made me so surprised! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Reminders of Him by Colleen Hoover

I told myself I wanted to read more Colleen Hoover books before I make a final cohesive rating of her as an author. And Reminders of Him has been on my bookshelf for months. And a lot of people considered this one their favorites. For me, I was very enticed by the plot – a mother released from prison who dreams of rekindling her relationship with her 5 year old daughter. It’s a small town “second chance romance” if the second chance is your deceased boyfriend’s best friend. There was a lot of potential with this one but the “twist” fell flat & the entire book although it had beautiful quotes, felt like a lifetime movie [ which isn’t my favorite ] . When it got to the ending, I was kind of expecting more of a dramatic & life altering conclusion. And for me, it was very predicable. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Home Before Dark by Riley Sager

Of course, I had to read a spooky novel this month for Halloween. This was my first Riley Sager book [ & it certainly won’t be my last ]. This was the perfect haunted house / ghost story trope. And the premise was so interesting with the past & present POV’s. I was very much entertained the entire time & a little spooked out at parts [ not going to lie]. This tells the story of Maggie – who’s father [ who recently passed ] wrote a book about their experience in this victorian home. 25 years later, Maggie has returned to the home to find out the truth & whether her father’s book was all fiction or perhaps a bit more. This screams very much Amittyville Horror vibes if you’ve seen that movie. I can’t wait to read more of his books in the future. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. Maas

So, last month I finally started the first book of the Throne of Glass series – & I of course had to continue this month with the second installment. Once I finished the ACOTAR [ A Court of Thorns & Roses] series over the summer, I was craving another one of SLM’s books. Once again, I was thoroughly entertained & was immersed back into the world of fantasy with this read. I think I got a better understanding of the main character, Celeana. And we are introduced to a few new characters while also adding a hint of romance. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Stranger in the House by Shari Lapena

This is where things went a little downhill. But you can’t always read an amazing book, right? I bought this book because a few booktubers recommended it & I thought it would be the perfect short [ under 300 pages] thriller I needed in between those thick fantasies. I almost DNFed [ did not finish ] this book because it was just simply- boring. I saw the twists from a mile away & I find the amnesia tropes to be so overdone within the thriller/ mystery genres. ⭐️⭐️

Love in The Time of Serial Killers by Alicia Thompson

This is a perfect example of “don’t trust a book by a pretty cover.” What I thought was going to be a lighthearted spooky / true crime rom com ended up being a fairly deep story about a girl who returns to sell her deceased father’s home. She is a PhD student writing her dissertation on true crime / serial killers & quickly becomes convinced her neighbor is a serial killer himself. I found this story to be all over the place. Although it touched on many tough topics of grief, divorce, family dynamics, suicide, broken friendships & mental health – it also felt like a cringe spicy fan fiction. Phoebe & Sam’s romance was spicy but also very cringe. Some of the dialogue made me go 😬. And like most cheesy rom coms, the story was very predictable. Overall, I feel like some people would enjoy this for the lighthearted smut & see it as a good filler read – which is why I give it a solid 3 stars. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Confess by Colleen Hoover

I warned you this was going to be a CoHo month – & so I decided to listen to the audiobook for this one. And once again, like Reminders of Him – this one felt the same. I will say, I find the premise of painting a person’s confessions so interesting. And the fact CoHo shared true confessions from fellow readers bumped up the rating for me. In general, I felt the romance between Auburn & Owen was good [ a mysterious artist with a bit of spice ]. I just felt like the twists weren’t that surprising & I’m personally not the hugest fan of the insta love trope. I want a romance that is a little more believable than that, you know? I also watched the tv series which made it slightly better but also kind of cringe. Have you read this one? ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Circe by Madeline Miller

I was excited to read Circe because I absolutely adored her other greek mythology novel, The Song of Achilles that I read back in May. I felt this book was perfect for spooky season because of her magical witchy tendencies. While some aspects of the story was rather dry, I think Madeline Miller writes these retellings so beautifully where you can feel all the emotions. For a literary fiction, I think her’s are worth reading because you learn something but also get the taste of a meaningful story. From her relationship with her sister, to finding love – I thought this was another well done read & I give it a solid four stars. If I were to compare the two though, I still think Song of Achilles is her best novel. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas

This was probably my favorite book of the Throne of Glass series so far! This is the 3rd installment of the series. The story is finally growing more & more. And I absolutely loved the multiple POV’s & getting a glimpse of more characters. This was such a wild ride – especially towards the last few chapters. Rowan, ( one of the newest characters) is chef’s kiss. I knew this character was going to be in the books [ thanks to booktok spoilers] but people are so right to be obsessed with this character. And introducing more of the witch clans made it the perfect read for spooky season. It felt very much like Game of Thrones in some parts with witches riding on wyverns [ dragons] & I became enthralled with the world – per usual. SJM seriously knows how to write a fantasy story. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️👏🏻

Assassins Blade by Sarah J. Maas

I finally finished this novella since I DNFed it last month. The thing about this book was determining when was the right time to read this & fully appreciate the story since it’s a prequel / novella. You can read it before Throne of Glass , after Crown of Midnight or after Heir of Fire. So many decisions! I decided to choose the romantic reading order [ after Heir of Fire] , I pretty much knew what was going to happen. But I’m happy that I can move onto the rest of the series knowing Caleana’s backstory. Overall, this story – especially the ending, was heartbreaking. IYKYK. I may re – read this once I’m finished with the entire series just to see if I appreciate it even more. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

It Starts With Us by Colleen Hoover

Let me just say, this was a highly anticipated read this month [ for a lot of us it seems ] . And although CoHo sheds light on domestic violence & the struggles of leaving a situation / relationship such as this one – this book made me so angry & frustrated. Yes, I love Atlas & Lily. A childhood friends to lovers / second chance romance is my cup of tea. But so many aspects of the story just pissed me off. And you would think if a book made me this emotionally charged, I would give it a higher rating. No. Lily deserves all the happiness in the world & to live the life she wishes. She should be with whoever she wants. No man ( especially a man who is violent towards her) should have a say. Period. Along with this, I just felt like the book was choppy & the ending seemed rushed. A lot of people pin this as a drawn out epilogue – & I fully agree. CoHo never really intended to make a second installment after It Ends With Us & so this was merely for the fans [ as she states in the thank you in the beginning of the book ]. I was discussing this book with a few other coho fans & I totally agree the twist with Atlas was very profound – especially the part where they state the title “it starts with us” IYKYK. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

It’s hard to say if I’ll read this many books or more in the future – but we shall see! Reading has became my favorite activity & I just love immersing myself into the community. I’ve created a Good Reads account where you can keep up with my reading challenge & what I’m reading in real time. I hope you’ve been enjoying my book content on the blog. I still plan to share tons of decluttering posts & intentional living discussions especially with the holiday season approaching. In the comments, let me know what your favorite books were this month!

-B

Minimalism, Self Growth

11 Things I Intentionally Say No To

March 6, 2022 mindbeautysimplicity

As someone who has been a chronic people pleaser / yes person for many years, I went into this new year with a different perspective. Saying no more often has been such a powerful tool in gaining back freedom & growth in my life. This mentality has encouraged me to choose what I do, listen to, & even say wisely. Here are 11 Things I Intentionally Say No To…

Being Bothered If People Don’t Like Me…

When there are 7 billion people on this planet, chances are you won’t vibe with all of them. Once I learned to let go the heartache that came from someone not liking me or not wanting to be my friend, the more at peace I felt with myself. I turned the statement more inward & discovered there were people I didn’t particularly like either. And that’s ok. It’s actually really freeing when you stop expecting every single person you cross paths with to like you. You ultimately learn to love yourself more & find the people who are meant to be apart of your lives.

Believing Everyone’s Life is Perfect

I actually deleted my Instagram for this very reason. I was tired of comparing my life to other people’s highlight reels. They are just that – highlights. Or even purposefully curated photos to hide the normalcies & downfalls of life. Nobody’s life is perfect. We all experience ups & downs on our own timeline. Photos are still moments in time. We have no idea [ unless the person tells us] if they had a breakdown before the selfie was taken. We don’t know if that person received bad news in the middle of an event. Or the event wasn’t as wonderful as the photos showcase. I’d rather stick with my own life, power through the rollercoaster moments & create one that suits me. No more, will I ever want to have someone else’s life.

Responding Immediately

This is a habit I’m really trying to break. I’m so used to replying to my phone so quickly regardless how busy I am. I used to think it was a talent to multitask that well. But having this habit, only allows people to think you are always available to their beck & call. On purpose, I’ve been retraining myself to reply to texts or phone calls a day later or even a week later if I’m THAT busy. I’d rather be intentional with my time & reply to something when I’m fully ready. In the world of technology, this has been rather difficult. I don’t respond to emails or notifications [ I actually have notifications turned off of my phone completely]. I let phone calls sometimes go to voicemail & get back to them later. I have even let people in my life know they don’t need to reply right away / respond when you have time. Let them know, they can also be intentional with their responses. By practicing this new way of responding has helped me gain control of my busy life.

Being Authentic With My Feelings & Conversations

It’s so easy to say to someone you are doing fine when they ask how you are. But I’m tired of not being authentic with how I’m feeling & telling it like it is. If I’m having an off day, I say it – unapologetically. I don’t care if me being true to myself makes others feel uncomfortable. I think if you are more real with people in this way, you actually create better relationships because there’s no hint of fakeness. Not only this, but you are becoming more comfortable in your own skin in the process. Being vulnerable, sharing in depth conversations instead of staying on the surface, is where those authentic relationships lie.

Impulse Purchasing

I’ve been wanting to be more intentional with my purchases. Instant gratification only satisfies you in the moment. Most of the time, when I instantly buy something, I end up wasting money & donating said item a few months later. I’ve recently been purchasing quite a few items for our wedding & new outfits for certain events. And on one hand, I’ve allowed myself to replace my old decluttered items in my closet with updated ones that showcase the person I am now. But I also want to get ahold of retail therapy. The things I bring into our home need to hold a purpose in some way. If I do see something I like, I delay the purchase as long as possible. If I still want the item, I will know I truly want / need it.

You Might Also Like: How To Save Money The Intentional Way

People Who Drain My Energy

I’ve learned it’s healthy to have a balance of alone time & community but with the right people. If you are surrounding yourself with people who ultimately drain you of your energy, it’s not beneficial. I’d rather spend my time alone in these cases. But over the last couple of years, I’ve really curated a group of people who truly add to my life & it has made a difference in my individual growth.

Having Too Long of a To-Do List

When you expect yourself to complete a to-do list that is pages long, I personally immediately lose interest in it all together. Instead, my to-do list on my phone usually holds a max of 3 tasks per day. Whatever I want to complete in that direct moment, I will have on my list. It’s not to say I don’t have other tasks I wish to complete later, but only seeing 3 tasks visually is more motivating.

Hectic Mornings

I’ve been adamantly establishing slow living into my routines. Regardless of my busy schedule, I have learned slower mornings, routines with fewer products or steps really make a difference in my mood. On the weekends, when I’m not busy with work or other obligations, I take those mornings to sleep in a little later, make a warm beverage or smoothie & sit in my chair in silence or reading a book. This has also has taught me the importance of “me time” & prioritizing relaxation into my routine regularly.

Having High Expectations

I struggle with being heard & taken seriously in situations. With that, I tend to lean on the side of controlling a times. When things aren’t going the way I planned or people are just not listening, I get frustrated. Lately, I’ve learned to have lower expectations on people & situations. It’s not that I’m giving up exactly. But I’ve found when my expectations are high & they aren’t met, I’m only hurting myself. I’m learning to go with the flow & let things play out. The only person & reactions I can control are my own.

A Perfectly Clean Home

Instead of calling our home messy, I like to use the term “lived in” because we are doing just that – living! So many minimalistic homes are seen perfectly clean & organized. And the reality is your home won’t be like that 24/7. I will say, when you properly declutter you will ultimately have less to clean up. But don’t get yourself down if you have toys all over the living room or clothing all over your closet floor. We are imperfect humans just trying to live our lives.

People Adding Unnecessary Problems To My Plate

Setting boundaries & saying no go hand in hand. My life is busy enough & when other people throw obligations into the ring sometimes, it just adds to my stress. Going back to the first point in not caring if people like me, saying no to their requests or “favors” is a lot easier. It’s not to say I won’t ever help someone out or agree with a suggestion at some point. But I’ve learned sometimes, it’s not mentally help to add anything else on my plate. As you know, I like to keep things relatively simple.