Self Growth

Stop Caring About What People Think of You

“You’ll Never Be Happy If You Constantly Worry What Other’s Think of You”

But why do we let ourselves get caught up in this game & allow it to take control of our lives? We scroll through social media & slowly degrade ourselves with every flick of the finger as the news feed moves across the screen. We treat the comment threats & mentions as true indications of our worth. When we make decisions of our life paths, we can’t help but wonder what others around us are doing instead & what they may think of ours. We question who is in the wrong & who is on the right track.

In terms of starting this passion project of a blog, I’m actually surprised I was able to start it in the first place. I had this fear of vulnerability & putting myself out there, especially to complete strangers across the globe. I wanted to grow thicker skin. All of my scarcities stemmed from caring what people would think of me. I would get a pit in my stomach going through scenarios in my head of being embarrassed or ridiculed for my choices. I though people in my real life would think I was nuts fo even thinking of going down this path.

“I wanted to grow thicker skin”

The fear of judgement is a real problem. It’s so easy to tell ourselves, “don’t worry about what people think of you.” But I know first hand, when I’d click publish on a blog post, my stomach would do flips because I was worried my perspectives on whatever I wrote about would be thought of as a weird or people would criticize my writing style. I’m a rather self critical person. A perfectionist of the arts if you will. On one hand, constructive criticism can be very beneficial to someone’s growth. I had to grasp the idea that there’s a difference between being taught vs. judged.

Here are 5 Ways To Stop Caring What People Think of You:

Have Something To Care About More

Life is all about how you see it & your perspective on situations. Creating a new mindset & shifting it to something more important to you, is a wonderful way to put the focus back on yourself instead of someone else. I think we can overly focus on other people & neglect our own journey’s. And chances are, people aren’t thinking about you on the level you think they are. Most of what you feel are insecurities you’ve developed in your mind. I was always told if I just simply made my life more important & stayed busy, I wouldn’t have time to even care about what other people may think of me or compare my life to there’s.

Question Your Thoughts

When you start caring what people think of you, chances are there’s an underlying reason behind it. Do a bit of reflection & determine why you are feeling the way you are. I for instance can be an over thinker at times. Blame my anxiety I guess. Over the years, I’ve learned to sit with my thoughts & pinpoint my reasonings for getting hung up on something or someone. Write out your thoughts on paper or even talk to a trustworthy person in your life. Most of the time what we think about are merely fabrications of what is really going on.

Find The Right Community

Don’t allow yourself to get mixed in with the wrong crowds. Being around the wrong people who don’t support your goals & ideas can cause you to question your entire existence. You start to wonder who is doing life correctly. You start to lose your authenticity & begin to mold into these so called “experts” on life. Instead, find people who cheer you on.

Embrace Vulnerability

If there are people in your life who question you on how open you are whether it’s in your writing or anything else, they are probably jealous you had the guts to share that information. So instead, feel proud the next time you show vulnerability & open up. I think the more you do this, the stronger you become. Your skin becomes thicker than ever & no sticks or stones could ever break it. In terms of blogging, when I shared my story on anxiety, I was a bundle of nerves at first. Once I read the comments & saw how it helped so many of you, I felt proud. And I want to share more stories on the caliber.

Be Your Own Best Friend

Above all else, YOU are your biggest cheerleader. The reality is, you will always have people questioning your decisions & making unsolicited judgments. It’s up to you to gain that back bone & confidence in your personal journey. There isn’t a rule book on life. There isn’t anyone who is more right than anyone else. So, just do you.

-B

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self care

Guest Post: 5 Self Care Habits For Living A Healthy Life Daily

Today we have a guest post from Riyah Speaks! She is a lifestyle blogger who talks about the importances of self care & our mental / physical wellbeing. I hope you enjoy reading her post & to check out her blog!

Our lives are so jam-packed with business and chaos that we tend to put ourselves on the back burner sometimes. Regardless of who you are, you should always put yourself first. As I mentioned in my post about the dimensions of self-care, not practicing self-care can lead to mental health issues, sickness, and even death. 

Self-Care isn’t a chore that must be completed at all times of the day. There are simple and quick ways that you can practice self-car without interrupting your daily routines or work schedule. Here are 05 self-care habits for living a healthy life daily. 

Daily Self-Care Habits To Use 

Practice Deep Breathing 

When you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax, and this message is sent to the body.  It also comes with major health benefits such as pain relief, improved immunity, lower blood pressure, posture correction, and increased energy.

Here are a few deep breathing exercises to try

  • Focus on positive imagery
  • Slow down your breathing 
  • Alternate breathing from nose and mouth 

Practice Gratitude

Being grateful means that you focus on the positive aspects of your life without contempt. Gratitude celebrates what you can do now, and avoids dwelling on decisions you could have made previously. The point of practicing gratitude is to get in the habit of changing your mindset, blocking negative energy, and gaining a higher sense of self-worth. There are many ways to cultivate gratitude, and my favorite way is with a gratitude journal. 

Take Breaks 

Taking breaks is important for maintaining your emotional and mental wellbeing. It allows your brain to recover from being overworked and stressed. It’s important to take breaks as necessary to avoid experiencing mood swings, lack of motivation, and extreme exhaustion. Taking breaks regularly increases productivity, boosts mood and energy, and helps to maintain your body’s performance throughout the day. Take about 10-15 minutes a day to be with yourself and to do nothing. Trust me, it’ll help you in the long run. 

Journal

For the sake of mental health, everyone should journal. Journaling helps with clearing up scrambled thoughts and ideas, boosts creativity, and comprehends your emotions. 

Take some time before and at the end of the day to reflect on your mood, mental state, and health. Think about why you’re feeling a particular way and what you can do to address those emotions. There are many different styles of journaling such as: bullet journals, art journals, diaries..etc. Find the format that works best for you and your wellbeing needs. 

Eat Healthy and Drink Water 

It’s important to eat healthy and drink water whenever you can. Healthy eating and drinking water leads to an overall healthier lifestyle and decreases your chances of developing obesity, diabetes, certain cancers, and high blood pressure later in life. Also, studies have found that making healthier drinking and eating choices boosts self-confidence, self-love, and self-worth. 

Why is Self Care Important?

Self-care is important because it helps you maintain a healthy lifestyle.  It helps you to produce feelings of happiness and transmit those feelings to the people around you. With our daily schedules becoming jam-packed with school, work, and family, it’s even more important now to make sure that you take time off to practice self-care and to be alone. 

I get it. Sometimes you just don’t want to or don’t have time. That’s why you must find small and convenient ways you can incorporate it into your daily routine. Self-care isn’t meant to be disruptive or inconvenient to your life. It’s there to relieve the pressure off your back and to make being active easier. 

AUTHOR BIO

Hi! I’m Seriah Sargenton, but my friends call me Riyah. I’m the writer behind riyahspeaks.com, a self-care and wellness blog dedicated to helping women to healthier and more fulfilling lives by practicing self-care, self-love, positivity. I have a degree in Journalism and have a strong passion for helping others. I hope you enjoy my perspective on life and find the strength to overcome life’s obstacles.