Tag: relationships

Lifestyle, Minimalism

10 Things I Do Now That I’m A Minimalist

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Ever since I decided to practice minimalism & live a more intentional & simple life, I’ve noticed so any wonderful changes. My perspective on life is quite different now that I don’t revolve it around consumerism & “Keeping up with the Joneses”. Although it may seem abnormal to go against the grain & live happier with less, I strongly believe EVERYONE would benefit by just simply adding one of these changes into their lives. Here are 10 Things I Do Now That I’m a Minimalist

1. I Look For New Experiences

When I stopped wanting for the next trendy piece or expensive item, I realized adding these things into my life left me feeling empty. Or, they would bring me joy for a short period of time but I would quickly want the next best thing. Instead, I look for new experiences to enrich my life & help me grow. And when I talk about experiences, I don’t just mean extravagant vacations overseas. I also mean local adventures like hidden hiking trails, new restaurants & activities. Simply trying a new drink on the Starbucks menu counts as a new experience. I’m more inclined to spend money on these forms of happiness than material items that just sit in my home because it’s another story to tell. It’s an added memory that makes us who we are or want to be.

2. I Actually Use Up Products I Buy

I try to adopt the rule of using what I have before I purchase a new one. It’s not to say, I don’t have a few backup products in the hall closet; but most duplicates are essential to daily living. I no longer experiment too often & I stick with what works. You know the phrase, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?” That’s the mindset I try to keep when advertisements try to entice me with something new & trendy.

3. I No Longer Try To Keep Up With The Joneses

Comparison & competing with people is honestly so exhausting. You can never really keep up. And why are we so wired to prove things to people? We need to feel more content with the lives we create for ourselves. In a world where social media snatches joy from right under your feet, we can’t allow ourselves to see highlight reels as the only depiction of success. Wouldn’t it be more refreshing if people showed all sides to the story? And if you still find yourself comparing yourself to other’s feeds, maybe you need to consider getting rid of the platforms that aren’t serving you well. For instance, I deleted my Instagram & haven’t looked back since.

You Might Also Like: Social Media Detoxes Are Good For the Soul

4. I Enjoy The Little Things

I used to feel like my life had to be so extravagant. I had to spend tons of money, visit the most fancy locations for what? To show people I can? To make myself feel more whole? This year has taught me happiness can be found in such simple ways. I embrace that type of life now. I’ve become a real homebody. I don’t go searching for things to fill a void any longer. I’ve become a stronger person this way. And like I said about experiences, sometimes the more simple moments are the most precious.

5. I Have Better Relationships With People

I was someone who focused on my own happiness harder than others. Not in a spiteful way either. More like an oblivious way where I would stay in my own safe bubble. Now that I’m more aware, I ask people how they are doing more often. I listen to their stories instead of quickly telling them mine. I listen harder instead of being a burden. And sometimes keeping things to yourself is ok. There’s a difference between vulnerability & word vomit. Those who practice a minimalist lifestyle, tend to focus on decluttering material items. But the decluttering process can be useful for all aspects in your life. When you choose your friends wisely, the ones that remain can be the best ones for you.

6. I Know Who My Real Friends Are

I love the friendships that are there for your highs & your lows. The type of friends who love coming over your house, sit on the floor with a glass of wine & talk about life. Each stage holds different phases of friendships. They change & you evolve as well. Rarely does anything ever stay the same. Find the tribe of individuals that encourage you & show off your best self. Let go of everything else.

7. I Show More Confidence

When I was a teenager, I would get myself so upset if my outfit wasn’t perfect. I was too much of a try hard & honestly the outfits weren’t that great. I worried about not being pretty enough, not having the latest trends or whether people would notice of my boots were knockoffs. Now that I’m older my fashion sense has improved so much. The only reason for this is my sense of confidence has improved. I don’t own the most unique clothing pieces. But I know what works for me & I rock it.

You Might Also Like: How I Boosted My Confidence During a Pandemic Year

8. I Save Money

The amount of pointless purchases I’ve made in my life is astronomical. I try to be more intentional with my purchases. And no, the joggers from Target were probably not on my NEED list, but during quarantine, they were an essential. When I do decide to treat myself, I appreciate it more. Before, I would spend so often that I stopped being grateful. “Oh that $50 Anastasia Beverly Hills Highlight Palette? Trash! And like that palette, it just sat in my drawer untouched. I try to maintain the mindset of purchasing items that are purposeful, fit in my capsule wardrobe or would truly benefit me evolve as a person.

You Might Also Like: How To Save Money The Intentional Way

9. I Have Gratitude

That house you live in. The nice bedding you sleep on. The pets you own. Never take those things for granted. I used to have the mindset of always wanting the next best thing. Although I do own less, I’ve learned to really appreciate what I have. I still love owning nice things. I just don’t let them define who I am or my happiness. I try to keep things into perspective & prioritize the people, animals & experiences I have in my life above all else.

You Might Also Like: I Wrote in A Gratitude Journal For An Entire Year

10. I Live A Happier Life

Minimalism wasn’t the end all be all cure to my life but it has made me happier. I thought I knew what happiness was before, but I’m more enlightened. I didn’t realize I used material items to hide from my problems, my emotions & people. In no means am I a perfect person. I am still a work in progress. But I will say practicing this lifestyle has helped open my eyes to the important parts of life.

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-B

self care

How To Have a Mindful Self Care Day

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It took me a long time to realize how important self care is to our mind, body & soul. In a world where society preaches “the grind never stops” & “sleep is for the weak”, we almost get in the habit of thinking when we slow down & make time for ourselves it means we are being lazy & unproductive. As I’ve been adapting intentional living in my routines, I’ve learned it’s completely ok to take a breather for a while & just be. Slowing down & taking time for myself has helped me manage feelings of burnout & fatigue. I have gained a sense of balance. Here are 10 Mindful Self Care Techniques I Do Regularly:

  1. Morning Stretches: I have found as someone who is not a morning person whatsoever, taking the time to do some slow morning stretches or a short yoga practice helps me wake up & become energized for my day. I can feel rather stiff as soon as I wake up & this light movement & meditation grounds myself for the tasks ahead. It’s so important to stretch as it promotes proper blood flow & loosens up those tight joints after being asleep for 7 to 8 hours. This practice has also helped me with any feelings of anxiety or stress I may be having in the moment. Focusing on my breath & just intentionally slowing down teaches me to let go of these feelings of needing to always rush.

2. Make Your Bed: I am someone who wouldn’t make their bed in the past because I had the mindset it was pointless since I’d be getting right back in it later. But as I’ve developed the habit of making my bed in the morning, it immediately makes me feel like I have my life on track. And when I return to it in the evening, it’s nice to see a tidy bed awaiting me. The idea of appreciating slow living & properly doing my tasks has helped me let go of the notion of feeling like I never had time for such a small task. Before, I would always rush out of bed & let the sheets go haphazard & return to the mess later. It seems like such a silly change but I’m telling you it shifts your entire mindset for the rest of the day.

3. Wash Your Face: Would you believe if I told you I have a one step skin care routine? I’ve learned the more products you use on the skin, the more clogged it can be. Not to mention, I have rather sensitive skin, so experimenting with products is usually the wrong way to go. I simply use a gentle facial cleaner & wipe away with water. And somedays, I’ll just use water. To some of you, that may sound insane. But I’m telling you, my skin has been the most clear in years. Even though my skincare routine is fairly simple, it is still a vital step in self care. The feeling of clean face is underrated.

4. Fuel Your Body: Be mindful what you put into your body. But also be attuned to what your body may need. I’m someone who doesn’t like the concept of diet culture & more so someone who is striving for a balanced yet healthy lifestyle. If you feel you need more carbs one day, go ahead & eat that pasta. Having a sense of balance & understanding of properly fueling the body is a form of self care not a lot of us consider. Lately, I’ve been loving starting my day with a strawberry & banana smoothie. I’ll sit down at the kitchen table & savor each drop.

5. Rest: When we are in the swing of life & on the road to accomplishing goals, we forget burnout can creep up on us all of a sudden. I learned taking a break, resting & getting proper sleep are key components to staying productive & creative. A few months ago, I took a break from my blogging passion & that hiatus gave me the fuel to come back more creative than ever. If you want to hear more about this, click here. Make sure you get proper sleep. No one really thinks you are more successful if you pull all nighters on the regular. Sleep is in & burnout is out.

6. Vitamin D: Sunlight is the ultimate self care ingredient. I can’t even describe the feeling I get when I go outside even for just 15 minutes. Being cooped up in a house can be detrimental to the psyche. I’ve made the habit of getting outside more often whether it’s writing a blog post on our back deck or taking a walk in the early evenings. You can take vitamins to help boost these levels but there is something about getting it from its nature source that seems so much better.

7. Spending Time With Quality People: I guard my energy like it’s a piece of gold. I no longer try to waste time on people who drain it from me. Especially when I’m in the need of proper self care, I make sure to spend time with people who lift me up like my closest friends, boyfriend & family. Self care doesn’t have to be a lonely endeavor. I’m looking forward to seeing friends & family more often this summer & have proper get togethers. I’ve realized how much I need that to maintain happiness.

8. Cry it Out: I think society preaches the idea of positivity too hard. Instead, we need to be more acceptant of all emotions even if it’s negative ones. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned it’s ok to cry & that release is actually rather therapeutic. Anytime I am at this breaking point, I will either go to a room & lock the door or take a shower. But allowing myself to get those feelings out, as intense as it may feel, always relieves the pain I was holding in at the time.

9. Laugh it Out: Whenever I’m feeling down or just need some quality me time, I always find myself looking for funny videos or tv shows to watch. Some of my best moments are scrolling through TikToks with my boyfriend in the evenings. We catch ourselves laughing our asses off & honestly that feeling is magic to the soul.

10. Collecting Experiences: One of the best feelings is discovering a new place or learning a new activity. I think we all have the right to immerse ourselves in all kinds of experiences – new & old. Making memories & truly living in the moment is something we all need to do more often. I new outfit or a new makeup product doesn’t give me the amount of joy adventures do. It enriches the soul & brings a sense of happiness that is priceless.

Self care can mean a lot of things. It’s not just a pampering day at the spa or even a luxury trip. It’s something only you can define for yourself. It’s what brings you joy & rejuvenates your entire existence. Honestly, my self care list is never ending. Each day, I discover something new that helps keep the balance. Having a mindset of prioritizing such a need is something we all should get in the habit of doing. There is no shame in taking care of yourself.

What have you been doing for self care lately? I’d like to add more to my list.

-B

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Health, Self Growth

Don’t Let Negative Energy Put You in A Funk

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Energy, whether it be positive or negative, flocks to me like a virus (is that analogy too triggering?). Not to get all cosmic with you, but we need to learn to protect our auras. Raise your hand if you are an empath? *raises both hands way up high* I’ve found I am someone who embraces emotions even when they aren’t my own. And sometimes those emotions aren’t always pretty. What do we do when we are constantly faced with negative energy? And how do we protect ourselves from letting said energy affect our lives?

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I think we first need to understand the idea of empaths.

In my own definition, I find empaths to be warriors of emotions. They absorb energies from people & make them our own. They take the analogy “walk in someone else’s shoes” a little too far. If you are reading this thinking, “oh my gosh, that’s me”…this post is for you. I’ve been really trying to work on this side of myself & have been doing a bit of research & I think I’ve found some ways we can control this “superpower” we have.

Yes, I’m saying being an empath is a superpower. I think once we understand it better & learn to set boundaries for ourselves, we can use these traits for good. It’s when we surround ourselves with too much negativity and even toxicity, this is when being an empath isn’t too fun. Especially when those people are one’s we can’t necessarily cut out (ie. colleagues or family members)

UNDERSTAND THE FUNDAMENTALS OF EMOTIONS

We must first understand why people tend to gravitate to certain emotions. Use your empathic super power & understand we are all human & have a wide range of emotions from time to time. I’m sure you’ve had a bad day or even a bad month before. So, understanding where a person is coming from first, can help you in finding ways to then put those feelings into action. The thing about being human is we run on patterns. We tend to develop these habits that can, in turn, become traits in our personality. I tend to see people who side on negativity have in some way or another developed a bad habit, especially if the negativity is ongoing. Like any habitual trait, we must learn to combat it & not let it rule us. Don’t let negative thoughts become your comfort zone.

CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE

This might sound harsh but bare with me. Taking the minimalism techniques I talk about & applying them to people in our lives is so important. Never feel guilty about cutting someone out of your life (even if it is family). Yes, I said it. And I’m not taking that back. Life is too short to be prioritizing people who bring us down. And regardless if they are blood or not, certain people just have the ability to drain us emotionally. And we have to learn how to gracefully walk away. Especially when it’s people you meet by choice like friends & acquaintances. Never feel obligated to keep these people in your lives if all they do is suck the life out of you. I call these people emotional vampires. And why would we choose to keep these monsters around? I think the notion of quality vs quantity within friendships comes with age. I’d much rather have a few people in my circle who truly have my back instead of a bunch of people who don’t.

KEEP IN MIND LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE

I fully believe in the concepts of manifestation & what you feel is what you will attract. If we feel we are surrounding ourselves with too much negativity & would prefer not to, we must first observe our own behavior. Sometimes without even realizing it we can be letting ourselves get lost in toxic environments because in some ways we like the attention, find comfort in it or feel like there is no way out. But as I said before, the energy we let stay is our choice. So, decide wisely. I find people tend to make happiness into this vulnerable concept. Society seems to embrace bad news & has made it be this weirdly sought after trait. I find we need to let go of this notion & see emotions as balancing acts. It’s unrealistic to be heavily one sided on either emotion. We need to take our emotions as they come & place action in front of them.

SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

If there are people in your life who mean well & are still toxic feeling, another opinion is to set clear boundaries. Without even realizing it, people in your life could be preventing you from your dream life. People in your life can mean very well, but their protective natures could be stopping you from pursuing what you’ve always wanted. Those same people can think they know what’s best for you & think their opinions are the only correct ones. Don’t ever abandon yourself. Always remember, you know yourself more than anyone else. During my research on these topics I came across some great responses to people who are trying to dictate your path:

“I appreciate your concern but I know what I want / know what I’m doing”

“That may be your case, but that is not my truth”

“I just need some space right now”

DETERMINE YOUR TRIGGERS

Awareness is golden. When we come to terms with what triggers us, we become more empowered as individuals. Regardless of what other people may or may not understand about your boundaries, you need to take ownership of those feelings & protect yourself when you feel it necessary. Whether that’s creating a smaller circle of friends, exiting certain topics of discussion or letting go of old habits; these actions will guide you to a better understanding of yourself & you will gain a sense of power that you may have lost.