organization, Self Growth

5 Reasons Letting Go Is So Damn Difficult!

Wanting a more simple life starts with letting go of what no longer serves us. Easier said than done am I right? I feel like I say this, but always end up saving tons of questionable items. Why is it so hard to let go in the first place? I wish I could just turn my feelings off for one second.

Recently, I helped my husband downsize his childhood belongings from six large storage containers to only one. It was quite the project but one we both knew was something to tackle. It got me thinking about why we hold onto certain things & also why it can be so hard to finally let go. It’s almost like the longer you own something, you start to believe whatever that something is, must be special & worth holding onto. And we discovered even though he forgot most of what was in these containers, the memories started flooding back. And this is why sentimental item can be the MOST difficult to let go. But any type of belongings, if we place too much meaning on said item can become difficult to throw away. Here are 5 reasons why letting go can be so damn difficult.

You Are Still Living in the Past

Nostalgia can be a precious thing. Whether it’s a smell, an object or even a single thought , these things tie us to what we once were. We almost hold onto things for the sole purpose of trying to preserve our memories.

Especially with physical objects, we almost keep these things with the fear of forgetting. We must remember the most powerful aspect of our memories are ourselves. We must let go of said fear & trust we will remember things in our minds. Again, don’t let your objects hold so much credit. You are far more than what you own.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but sentimental items are very difficult for me to declutter. I have been biting the bullet though & challenging myself to go through these items brutally. And through this process, I’ve learned a lot about myself & the things I hold near & dear to my heart. In my 5 Things To Keep In Mind When Decluttering Sentimental Items, I pinpointed key factors that helped me downsize my keepsakes in half!

I felt like I was holding onto too many past memories that ultimately made me feel stuck & less likely to move forward in my life. Although I still have plenty of sentimental items to look back on & cherish, I allowed myself to be rid of the pointless emotional baggage that was taking up space in my home. You need to remember life is constantly moving & you will have far more memories & keepsakes ahead. Make room for the future by narrowing down your past.

You Feel Guilty Giving It Up

Maybe you have a pit in your stomach for purchasing something so expensive you never use. Or perhaps you were gifted something & although the gesture is always sweet, you just don’t use it. These feelings of guilt should not become a burden to your mind.

If you feel guilty over whether you should get rid of something, you should always be rid of that item. That mental turmoil will only make matters worse. I always believe it is better to let go of something you don’t use so it can be treasured by someone else.

And if you are having difficulty letting go an item because it was either passed down to you by a family member or given to you as a gift, ideally the person shouldn’t be upset if you no longer want something. Either return it to the sender or give it to someone who would better appreciate it. Material items should rarely have such pressures of value. And if they do hold lots of value, finds ways to use it or display it. Otherwise, let it go.

Fear of Needing it in the Future

This concept reminds me of everyone buying tons of toilet paper in the beginning of the pandemic. Fear & consumerism when tied together, create chaos. You can’t go walking around with the mindset of the world is ending or “I’ll never be able to find this again.” That’s when hoarding develops. And we really don’t want that. In today’s world, it is rather easy to find certain items online. If at any point you are missing an item or need it again, you can always repurchase it later.

This is why when shopping I don’t purchase just incase items or bulk items. To me, it just seems like a waste of space, money & product. Save some for the rest of us please. I think a lot of people have this notion that if you hold onto something for those just in case moments, it saves them money in the long run. I have noticed this is a wrong way of thinking.

Rarely do I feel grateful for having kept certain things for those just in case items. For example, I’ve had this Christmas sweater I wore one time but have held onto it JUST IN CASE we have an ugly christmas sweater party to go to. The future is always questionable & who truly new we wouldn’t be having large get togethers with friends for a year. By the time we actually have a party, I’m going to want a brand new outfit!

What Will People Think?

Repeat after me, stop caring what people think of you! If a person truly cares if you get rid of something, maybe you should gift it to them. This is your life to live so if you feel overwhelmed by the clutter in your home, don’t waste anymore time.

I’ll be honest, I probably still own plenty of things other people told us we HAD to have when owning a home. But slowly I will even downsize these items because most MUST HAVE items are useless in my opinion. And if there comes a time we truly need something, we will buy it. Simple as that.

It Hints You Were Wrong

Whatever it may be, it’s ok to admit it wasn’t right & it’s healthy to finally let it go. Life is too short to be living with things & people that don’t serve you. And if anything else, these wrongdoings can be seen as lessons leading us to our correct path.

Admitting you were wrong about something can be a hard pill to swallow. But it’s also extremely human & liberating. Maybe you were wrong about a certain style of clothing working for you. Or in a more deep sense, maybe a certain person in your life is wrong for you. These mistakes & lessons are normal & a part of life.

I truly hope these tips help you have more clarity with the idea of having a clutter free life. Comment down below what holds you back from letting go.

-B

Self Growth

Why Rebranding Doesn’t Stop At Your Blog: How To Reinvent Yourself

I’ve gone through personal “rebrands” throughout my life – from switching what sport I was playing, to becoming a dancer in high school [ with no prior dance experience ]. I would change my clothing styles or hair color & hope those small tweaks would lead to a new life for myself. And as I’m in my 30’s now, that rebranding or reinventing myself hasn’t stop & I’ve been itchy for a change. The rebranding process is so crucial in the blogging world & sometimes makes the biggest difference in stats & popularity. It got me thinking, the same results could happen if I continued this with my personal life.

For me personally – going through an extreme loss this past year has changed me a lot. In a grief standpoint, it is quite normal & I’ve spent some time focusing on my healing process & being extra kind to myself. Although they say you don’t want the trauma to change you a ton – I’m actually really happy with the person I am today, regardless that the heartbreak of a loved one passing [ my dad ] was the cause. I’ve became quite the reader these days, I am trying to balance a more realistic lifestyle when it comes to living with intention & I’ve gained a much needed backbone.

If you are also looking to reinvent yourself in some shape or form, here’s where you should start:

Determine Your Why

Why are you looking to make a change in your life? Are you striving for better routines? Are you wanting to cut a bad habit out? Or are you just wanting to help yourself reach specific goals? Determining your why will initiate this game plan for your life. For me, my interest in a rebrand was looking in my closet, & not liking anything I had in my wardrobe. Since the pandemic, I became lazy when it comes to my style & now – I’m looking to rediscover that love for fashion & beauty. And then from there, I wanted to make some personality changes without losing the essence of who I am. I can honestly say, I’m the most sure of myself than I have ever been.

Change Up Your Habits

Are there certain lifestyle habits that are holding you back? For me, I am striving to be the healthiest version of myself, so four months ago, I decided to venture into living an alcohol free life. And ever since than, I’ve been able to take back control of my personality. If you are interested, I can definitely go more in depth on why I choose to live an alcohol free life going into my 30’s. Another habit I’m striving to break is spending far too much time starring at a phone screen. To replace that time & energy, I’ve been spending more time reading actual books which in term, helps me relax & maintain a more calm presence.

Create a Morning / Evening Routine

Morning & evening routines are so popular these days – usually filled with aesthetic concepts. But there is truth in having routines & how they can help ground us. Now, I tend to think of routines in a more simpler way. For instance, setting your morning alarm for a set time, making some form of beverage [ my favorite being chai tea lattes ] & in the evenings – setting aside time to read. Slowing down & creating these rituals can really transform how you take on the busier ends of the week. If you are interested, I can go more in depth on my morning / evening routines lately.

Appearance Can Make a Difference

As superficial as it sounds, changing up your outer appearance can actually make you change internally as well. I’ve been looking through my fall wardrobe & have decided I want to expand my style & add a few new pieces. At the moment, I’m loving neutral shades with mixes of textures. As much as I love athleisure wear, I’ve also fell into a rut where I want to dress much cuter.

Determine Your Goals

These can be short term or more long term goals – but I love planning out goals for myself [ especially with the new year approaching ]. Whether it’s wanting to start a family, adding a pet into the mix or looking to purchase a new home – it’s fun & inspiring to brainstorm on our lives. I think sometimes we tend to just go with the flow & let time pass us by, when there is always something to strive for. Even if it’s a small goal of waking up a little earlier during the week, or trying out a new workout class. Not only do goals make us feel accomplished, but it also allows us to romanticize our lives again.

-B

Minimalism

10 Minimalist Habits That Will Change Your Life

Minimalism is a mindset that can transform your life. Believe me, I know first hand. Although it is common to focus on the visible clutter & how those spaces can cloud our minds & judgments; what if I told you minimalism is far more than this? Minimalism is an intentional lifestyle. And with the simple shift in perspective & daily habits, you too can head down the road to simple & simplistic living. Here are 10 Minimalist Habits That Will Change Your Life:

Don’t Scroll Your Phone First Thing

In the morning, it was habitual of me to roll over on my side, reach over to my nightstand, unplug my phone from its charger & scroll socials for hours before I even got out of bed. Recently, I’ve turned a new leaf & decided to store my phone on my dresser which is a good walking distance away from where I sleep. This way, when my alarm goes off, I have no choice but to get out of bed & turn it off. In the past, I’ve talked about how decluttering your digital space is essential in staying productive. But this also goes with the amount of time we spend on these devices. By limiting my screen time in the morning, I start my day with a clearer mind. Another suggestion is to not scroll your phone right when you get up. As soon as you turn your alarm off, put the home down & continue your typical morning tasks. Go downstairs & drink some coffee in silence. Once you’ve been up for a while, then you can check your messages.

You May Also Like: Minimalism Guide: Digital Declutter

Slow Down

Slow living is what minimalists use to help them live more in the moment. Instead of being in a rush & almost forcefully adding too much on your plate, stop & take a moment to breathe. It’s called living for a reason. No matter what you may be doing, it is so important to truly be present & acknowledge what you are doing. This way, you can learn to better appreciate yourself & your routines. Most mornings, I enjoy slowly getting out of bed, making my way to the kitchen table & just be with my thoughts for a second with a glass of water in hand. Some of this has to do with the fact I am not a morning person whatsoever & I need time to mentally wake up. But this relaxing moment of just being & not rushing out the door or to exercise helps me stay grounded & stress free.

Prioritize Your Energy Wisely

Lately with blogging, I’ve had to prioritize my routine to what is actually working vs. what is a complete waste of energy. I felt like I was comfortable in such a sedentary lifestyle where I would spend hours on my laptop trying to create content that would hopefully boost my success rates. I realized some of the things I was doing showed no change in results. As I started to cut back in my tasks & prioritizing just a few, I began to develop more of a balance. This mindset can be used in all aspects of life whether it’s with friendships, work or even your free time.

You May Also Like: How To Be More of an Intentional Blogger

Don’t Rush Your To Do List

When it comes to making a list of daily tasks, I like to consider them things I’d like to do vs. things I have to do. Rewording it this way releases the pressure & stress of completing said tasks. And ever since I shifted my mindset, I am more inclined to finish the list no matter how long it may be. I noticed when I get myself stressed out over anything, it causes this self sabotage in my mind. The more overwhelmed I feel the less likely I’ll actually accomplish it. Another tactic I discovered with handling my to-do list is the 3 item to-do list method which is determining 3 of your most important tasks of the day & write those down. This will help you understand the power of priorities.

Move Your Body

Sitting on the couch, hunched over a laptop all day isn’t good. As a blogger, I need this sentence drilled in my mind. I’ve learned my creative juices need a break once in a while & a 30 minute or one hour workout won’t hurt me. It will actually benefit me in keeping a healthier lifestyle & clear my foggy writers block. Getting outdoors & breathing in the fresh air is an added bonus. I’ve been reminding myself to get out in nature even if it’s simply helping with yard work or just reading a book on our deck under an umbrella. That vitamin d has truly made a difference.

Practice Gratitude

Whether it’s a daily journal entry or a short statement in your head, practicing gratitude will help you see life in a different light. I truly believe when you start focusing on the good, the good things start flooding in. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t devalue other emotions other than happiness, but to develop a sense of grace & understanding of life’s situations. Even on your worst days, think of at least one thing you are appreciative of & you will notice yourself releasing such negativity & feeling much better.

Be More Present

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I’m having a conversation with someone & that person is faced down & glued to their phone screen. All you hear is the occasional “mhmm” or “ok”. Instead, truly engage with the person. Look them in the eye & add valuable rebuttals. Developing relationships & friendships are one of the main highlights to our lives. Put effort into the ones you want & let them know they matter to you by putting the phone down once in a while.

Focus on Quality Time

After a long day of work, my fiancé & I love carving out a few hours in the evening just for us. Whether it’s eating dinner together or watching a tv series or simply having an un- erupted conversation; having this quality time with each other is something we always look forward to. I think it’s easy for people to believe they don’t have time for certain “so called meaningless activities”. But I’m here to tell you these moments aren’t meaningless. They are what maintains your relationships & friendships.

Nightly Clean Ups

Before you go to bed, make sure all the dishes in the sink are cleaned off or put in the dishwasher. Meal prep & have it set for the week a head or the next morning. Make sure the living area is picked up & arranged in a tidy manner. Quickly wipe up any noticeable stains or crumbs on tables.This should not be a deep clean but simply a short reset for the next day. This way, you start your next day on a clean slate. Nothing bothers me more is waking up to a messy house. These nightly clean ups reduces this stress.

Create A Donate Bin

Decluttering can be quite the task if you do it in one sitting. Having a designated bin either in your closet or spare room can help you. Anytime you put on an outfit you end up hating or doesn’t fit, throw it in the bin. Did you find some decor or gadgets you no longer wish to use, put them in the bin as well. Once the bin is full, you can then send it on its way when you have the time. This allows you to continuously downsize your space on a regular basis.

By keeping these 10 habits in mind, you can slowly shift into a more simple & intentional lifestyle. Let me know in the comments other habits you do to make your routines more at ease.

-B