organization, Self Growth

5 Reasons Letting Go Is So Damn Difficult!

Wanting a more simple life starts with letting go of what no longer serves us. Easier said than done am I right? I feel like I say this, but always end up saving tons of questionable items. Why is it so hard to let go in the first place? I wish I could just turn my feelings off for one second.

Recently, I helped my husband downsize his childhood belongings from six large storage containers to only one. It was quite the project but one we both knew was something to tackle. It got me thinking about why we hold onto certain things & also why it can be so hard to finally let go. It’s almost like the longer you own something, you start to believe whatever that something is, must be special & worth holding onto. And we discovered even though he forgot most of what was in these containers, the memories started flooding back. And this is why sentimental item can be the MOST difficult to let go. But any type of belongings, if we place too much meaning on said item can become difficult to throw away. Here are 5 reasons why letting go can be so damn difficult.

You Are Still Living in the Past

Nostalgia can be a precious thing. Whether it’s a smell, an object or even a single thought , these things tie us to what we once were. We almost hold onto things for the sole purpose of trying to preserve our memories.

Especially with physical objects, we almost keep these things with the fear of forgetting. We must remember the most powerful aspect of our memories are ourselves. We must let go of said fear & trust we will remember things in our minds. Again, don’t let your objects hold so much credit. You are far more than what you own.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but sentimental items are very difficult for me to declutter. I have been biting the bullet though & challenging myself to go through these items brutally. And through this process, I’ve learned a lot about myself & the things I hold near & dear to my heart. In my 5 Things To Keep In Mind When Decluttering Sentimental Items, I pinpointed key factors that helped me downsize my keepsakes in half!

I felt like I was holding onto too many past memories that ultimately made me feel stuck & less likely to move forward in my life. Although I still have plenty of sentimental items to look back on & cherish, I allowed myself to be rid of the pointless emotional baggage that was taking up space in my home. You need to remember life is constantly moving & you will have far more memories & keepsakes ahead. Make room for the future by narrowing down your past.

You Feel Guilty Giving It Up

Maybe you have a pit in your stomach for purchasing something so expensive you never use. Or perhaps you were gifted something & although the gesture is always sweet, you just don’t use it. These feelings of guilt should not become a burden to your mind.

If you feel guilty over whether you should get rid of something, you should always be rid of that item. That mental turmoil will only make matters worse. I always believe it is better to let go of something you don’t use so it can be treasured by someone else.

And if you are having difficulty letting go an item because it was either passed down to you by a family member or given to you as a gift, ideally the person shouldn’t be upset if you no longer want something. Either return it to the sender or give it to someone who would better appreciate it. Material items should rarely have such pressures of value. And if they do hold lots of value, finds ways to use it or display it. Otherwise, let it go.

Fear of Needing it in the Future

This concept reminds me of everyone buying tons of toilet paper in the beginning of the pandemic. Fear & consumerism when tied together, create chaos. You can’t go walking around with the mindset of the world is ending or “I’ll never be able to find this again.” That’s when hoarding develops. And we really don’t want that. In today’s world, it is rather easy to find certain items online. If at any point you are missing an item or need it again, you can always repurchase it later.

This is why when shopping I don’t purchase just incase items or bulk items. To me, it just seems like a waste of space, money & product. Save some for the rest of us please. I think a lot of people have this notion that if you hold onto something for those just in case moments, it saves them money in the long run. I have noticed this is a wrong way of thinking.

Rarely do I feel grateful for having kept certain things for those just in case items. For example, I’ve had this Christmas sweater I wore one time but have held onto it JUST IN CASE we have an ugly christmas sweater party to go to. The future is always questionable & who truly new we wouldn’t be having large get togethers with friends for a year. By the time we actually have a party, I’m going to want a brand new outfit!

What Will People Think?

Repeat after me, stop caring what people think of you! If a person truly cares if you get rid of something, maybe you should gift it to them. This is your life to live so if you feel overwhelmed by the clutter in your home, don’t waste anymore time.

I’ll be honest, I probably still own plenty of things other people told us we HAD to have when owning a home. But slowly I will even downsize these items because most MUST HAVE items are useless in my opinion. And if there comes a time we truly need something, we will buy it. Simple as that.

It Hints You Were Wrong

Whatever it may be, it’s ok to admit it wasn’t right & it’s healthy to finally let it go. Life is too short to be living with things & people that don’t serve you. And if anything else, these wrongdoings can be seen as lessons leading us to our correct path.

Admitting you were wrong about something can be a hard pill to swallow. But it’s also extremely human & liberating. Maybe you were wrong about a certain style of clothing working for you. Or in a more deep sense, maybe a certain person in your life is wrong for you. These mistakes & lessons are normal & a part of life.

I truly hope these tips help you have more clarity with the idea of having a clutter free life. Comment down below what holds you back from letting go.

-B

Beauty

My Minimalist Makeup Collection

I used to be a makeup hoarder of sorts. Youtube beauty gurus circa 2010 fueled that inspiration.Hard to believe, I too wanted drawers filled to the brim of products & wanted to drain my savings towards Sephora or Ulta sales. It took me a long time to realize half ( if not more ) of said collection was barely used. Products kept expiring. And I found myself always craving more. It’s funny how I told myself I needed every shade of eyeshadow ( even the shades that were unflattering) & every palette or collaboration ( regardless of the price) was sought after. Things are a bit different now. I still love & admire my makeup routine & the artistry of it all. I just don’t have the desire to own an array of brands or shades And thanks to the pandemic, there are somedays I don’t where a drop of makeup. I’ve condensed my collection to what works & I rarely shop for new products. I wait until the product is empty or if I receive it as a gift. The process of decision fatigue is no more & my routine is quick & simple.

Here is what I’ve kept & love…

Charlotte Tilbury Beautiful Skin Foundation:

I purchased this foundation for my wedding week & have loved it ever since. It has wonderful coverage without making my skin look cakey. I don’t wear foundation every single day anymore, but when I do – I always seem to reach for this one.

It Cosmetic CC cream:

I’ve used this cc cream for years. I usually wear this in the summer ( but it works well for all seasons ). It has wonderful coverage & has even helped clear my skin for its ingredients.

Maybelline Eyebrow Pencil:

I’ve used many brands of eyebrow pencils and pomades in the past, but this one for $5 is amazing & has lasted me for so long. I don’t fill in my brows as dramatically as I once did, but this is great for those sparse areas.

Maybelline Eyeliner in Brown

I only own one eyeliner in a more natural shade – brown. I find black eyeliner to be too harsh. And surprisingly – I no longer wear liquid eyeliner. The winged liner look for me is out! If I do want a bit of dramatics, I will simply use the eyeliner pencil or an eyeshadow.

L’Oréal Telescopic Mascara

I only own one mascara at a time. And this one from L’Oréal is a great product at a great price. I no longer find high end mascaras to be worth the price since it’s smart to replace mascara every 3 months.

Benefit Rocketaur Box Powder

This is my favorite blush of all time. It provides the most flattering bronze peach glow to my skin that looks almost sun kissed.

Nars Blush in Orgasm

A cult favorite in the beauty world. I’ve been trying to hit pan on this blush for years. Maybe this year will be it. It’s a perfect pink shade for nights out.

Charlotte Tilbury Peachgasm Liquid Blush

I love a liquid blush & this acts as the perfect highlight. I no longer wear highlighter ( which was quite popular a few years ago). This gives a much more natural glow.

NARS laguna bronzer

This tone of bronzer is my favorite & is the most flattering. In the future, I would like to find a more cruelty free bronzer alternative. But for the time being, I will try & use this up.

Physicians Formula Butter Bronzer

This is a great drugstore bronzer option. I love the formula & tone. I also use this product as eyeshadow as the brown tone is the perfect light shade for my lids. A great tip is to find multiple uses for your powder products

Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk Lipstick & Liner

I decided to purchase the travel sized version to test out this hyped product. And this is my most worn lipstick lately. I completely understand the hype. I definitely plan to purchase a full size once this one is used up.

Kylie Jenner Liquid Lipstick & Liner in Sweater Weather

This is my go to fall / winter shade. It’s reddish tone is perfect for those occasions I want a bolder look. And it lasts all day.

Mac Lipstick in Velvet Teddy

My favorite lipstick of all time. If I could only own one lipstick – this would be it. It’s perfect for all occasions & any season.

Mac Lipstick in Angel

This shade is one I wear during the spring and summer as it gives a nice bright look to my face.

Laura Mercier Translucent Powder

I purchased a travel size of this product because it takes me so long to finish this type of powder. I don’t necessarily bake my face like a Kardashian but this product is essential for setting my concealer.

Maybelline Fit Me Concealer

Speaking of concealer, I only own one. I was a huge fan of the Tarte Shape tape for the longest time. But I found it to look too heavy under my eyes. So I’ve moved onto a lighter formula at a better price point.

Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk Eyeshadow Palette

One of the biggest changes I’ve made with my makeup collection is preferring smaller palettes to larger ones. They are easier to travel with & I longer take time wondering which shades to use. The formulation of these eyeshadows are really nice.

Jeffree Star x Shane Dawson Conspiracy Pallette

My favorite item in my collection – this palette is my baby. I love both YouTube creators so much & had to buy their collaboration pallette. It has the most pigmented shades with mostly neutrals with a touch of fun shades.

Jaclyn Hill Palette

Eyeshadow palettes used to be my weekness & although I’ve decluttered plenty – I’d rather keep the ones I have & try & hit pan on the shadows. This neutral palette is beautiful but I personally find large palettes like these to be too cumbersome. Rarely do I wear all the shades anyway.

Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray

To complete my look & make sure it stays on all day, I like spraying my face with this setting spray. Who knows if setting spray is really necessary but I find it very refreshing.

Conclusion

To some, this still may seem like a lot of makeup. And others may agree this is rather minimal. Compared to my past self, this is very condensed. And I plan to try & hit pan & use up even more ( especially the eyeshadows). I love that I can store all my products in my desk drawer where everything is tucked away & out of sight. I also own a small set of makeup brushes: one foundation brush, a blush brush, an angled bronzer brush, 3 eyeshadow brushes & a beauty sponge.

What is your favorite brand of makeup? Do you have a small collection or a large one?

-B

Minimalism

10 Minimalist Habits That Will Change Your Life

Minimalism is a mindset that can transform your life. Believe me, I know first hand. Although it is common to focus on the visible clutter & how those spaces can cloud our minds & judgments; what if I told you minimalism is far more than this? Minimalism is an intentional lifestyle. And with the simple shift in perspective & daily habits, you too can head down the road to simple & simplistic living. Here are 10 Minimalist Habits That Will Change Your Life:

Don’t Scroll Your Phone First Thing

In the morning, it was habitual of me to roll over on my side, reach over to my nightstand, unplug my phone from its charger & scroll socials for hours before I even got out of bed. Recently, I’ve turned a new leaf & decided to store my phone on my dresser which is a good walking distance away from where I sleep. This way, when my alarm goes off, I have no choice but to get out of bed & turn it off. In the past, I’ve talked about how decluttering your digital space is essential in staying productive. But this also goes with the amount of time we spend on these devices. By limiting my screen time in the morning, I start my day with a clearer mind. Another suggestion is to not scroll your phone right when you get up. As soon as you turn your alarm off, put the home down & continue your typical morning tasks. Go downstairs & drink some coffee in silence. Once you’ve been up for a while, then you can check your messages.

You May Also Like: Minimalism Guide: Digital Declutter

Slow Down

Slow living is what minimalists use to help them live more in the moment. Instead of being in a rush & almost forcefully adding too much on your plate, stop & take a moment to breathe. It’s called living for a reason. No matter what you may be doing, it is so important to truly be present & acknowledge what you are doing. This way, you can learn to better appreciate yourself & your routines. Most mornings, I enjoy slowly getting out of bed, making my way to the kitchen table & just be with my thoughts for a second with a glass of water in hand. Some of this has to do with the fact I am not a morning person whatsoever & I need time to mentally wake up. But this relaxing moment of just being & not rushing out the door or to exercise helps me stay grounded & stress free.

Prioritize Your Energy Wisely

Lately with blogging, I’ve had to prioritize my routine to what is actually working vs. what is a complete waste of energy. I felt like I was comfortable in such a sedentary lifestyle where I would spend hours on my laptop trying to create content that would hopefully boost my success rates. I realized some of the things I was doing showed no change in results. As I started to cut back in my tasks & prioritizing just a few, I began to develop more of a balance. This mindset can be used in all aspects of life whether it’s with friendships, work or even your free time.

You May Also Like: How To Be More of an Intentional Blogger

Don’t Rush Your To Do List

When it comes to making a list of daily tasks, I like to consider them things I’d like to do vs. things I have to do. Rewording it this way releases the pressure & stress of completing said tasks. And ever since I shifted my mindset, I am more inclined to finish the list no matter how long it may be. I noticed when I get myself stressed out over anything, it causes this self sabotage in my mind. The more overwhelmed I feel the less likely I’ll actually accomplish it. Another tactic I discovered with handling my to-do list is the 3 item to-do list method which is determining 3 of your most important tasks of the day & write those down. This will help you understand the power of priorities.

Move Your Body

Sitting on the couch, hunched over a laptop all day isn’t good. As a blogger, I need this sentence drilled in my mind. I’ve learned my creative juices need a break once in a while & a 30 minute or one hour workout won’t hurt me. It will actually benefit me in keeping a healthier lifestyle & clear my foggy writers block. Getting outdoors & breathing in the fresh air is an added bonus. I’ve been reminding myself to get out in nature even if it’s simply helping with yard work or just reading a book on our deck under an umbrella. That vitamin d has truly made a difference.

Practice Gratitude

Whether it’s a daily journal entry or a short statement in your head, practicing gratitude will help you see life in a different light. I truly believe when you start focusing on the good, the good things start flooding in. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t devalue other emotions other than happiness, but to develop a sense of grace & understanding of life’s situations. Even on your worst days, think of at least one thing you are appreciative of & you will notice yourself releasing such negativity & feeling much better.

Be More Present

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I’m having a conversation with someone & that person is faced down & glued to their phone screen. All you hear is the occasional “mhmm” or “ok”. Instead, truly engage with the person. Look them in the eye & add valuable rebuttals. Developing relationships & friendships are one of the main highlights to our lives. Put effort into the ones you want & let them know they matter to you by putting the phone down once in a while.

Focus on Quality Time

After a long day of work, my fiancé & I love carving out a few hours in the evening just for us. Whether it’s eating dinner together or watching a tv series or simply having an un- erupted conversation; having this quality time with each other is something we always look forward to. I think it’s easy for people to believe they don’t have time for certain “so called meaningless activities”. But I’m here to tell you these moments aren’t meaningless. They are what maintains your relationships & friendships.

Nightly Clean Ups

Before you go to bed, make sure all the dishes in the sink are cleaned off or put in the dishwasher. Meal prep & have it set for the week a head or the next morning. Make sure the living area is picked up & arranged in a tidy manner. Quickly wipe up any noticeable stains or crumbs on tables.This should not be a deep clean but simply a short reset for the next day. This way, you start your next day on a clean slate. Nothing bothers me more is waking up to a messy house. These nightly clean ups reduces this stress.

Create A Donate Bin

Decluttering can be quite the task if you do it in one sitting. Having a designated bin either in your closet or spare room can help you. Anytime you put on an outfit you end up hating or doesn’t fit, throw it in the bin. Did you find some decor or gadgets you no longer wish to use, put them in the bin as well. Once the bin is full, you can then send it on its way when you have the time. This allows you to continuously downsize your space on a regular basis.

By keeping these 10 habits in mind, you can slowly shift into a more simple & intentional lifestyle. Let me know in the comments other habits you do to make your routines more at ease.

-B