organization, Self Growth

5 Reasons Letting Go Is So Damn Difficult!

Wanting a more simple life starts with letting go of what no longer serves us. Easier said than done am I right? I feel like I say this, but always end up saving tons of questionable items. Why is it so hard to let go in the first place? I wish I could just turn my feelings off for one second.

Recently, I helped my husband downsize his childhood belongings from six large storage containers to only one. It was quite the project but one we both knew was something to tackle. It got me thinking about why we hold onto certain things & also why it can be so hard to finally let go. It’s almost like the longer you own something, you start to believe whatever that something is, must be special & worth holding onto. And we discovered even though he forgot most of what was in these containers, the memories started flooding back. And this is why sentimental item can be the MOST difficult to let go. But any type of belongings, if we place too much meaning on said item can become difficult to throw away. Here are 5 reasons why letting go can be so damn difficult.

You Are Still Living in the Past

Nostalgia can be a precious thing. Whether it’s a smell, an object or even a single thought , these things tie us to what we once were. We almost hold onto things for the sole purpose of trying to preserve our memories.

Especially with physical objects, we almost keep these things with the fear of forgetting. We must remember the most powerful aspect of our memories are ourselves. We must let go of said fear & trust we will remember things in our minds. Again, don’t let your objects hold so much credit. You are far more than what you own.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but sentimental items are very difficult for me to declutter. I have been biting the bullet though & challenging myself to go through these items brutally. And through this process, I’ve learned a lot about myself & the things I hold near & dear to my heart. In my 5 Things To Keep In Mind When Decluttering Sentimental Items, I pinpointed key factors that helped me downsize my keepsakes in half!

I felt like I was holding onto too many past memories that ultimately made me feel stuck & less likely to move forward in my life. Although I still have plenty of sentimental items to look back on & cherish, I allowed myself to be rid of the pointless emotional baggage that was taking up space in my home. You need to remember life is constantly moving & you will have far more memories & keepsakes ahead. Make room for the future by narrowing down your past.

You Feel Guilty Giving It Up

Maybe you have a pit in your stomach for purchasing something so expensive you never use. Or perhaps you were gifted something & although the gesture is always sweet, you just don’t use it. These feelings of guilt should not become a burden to your mind.

If you feel guilty over whether you should get rid of something, you should always be rid of that item. That mental turmoil will only make matters worse. I always believe it is better to let go of something you don’t use so it can be treasured by someone else.

And if you are having difficulty letting go an item because it was either passed down to you by a family member or given to you as a gift, ideally the person shouldn’t be upset if you no longer want something. Either return it to the sender or give it to someone who would better appreciate it. Material items should rarely have such pressures of value. And if they do hold lots of value, finds ways to use it or display it. Otherwise, let it go.

Fear of Needing it in the Future

This concept reminds me of everyone buying tons of toilet paper in the beginning of the pandemic. Fear & consumerism when tied together, create chaos. You can’t go walking around with the mindset of the world is ending or “I’ll never be able to find this again.” That’s when hoarding develops. And we really don’t want that. In today’s world, it is rather easy to find certain items online. If at any point you are missing an item or need it again, you can always repurchase it later.

This is why when shopping I don’t purchase just incase items or bulk items. To me, it just seems like a waste of space, money & product. Save some for the rest of us please. I think a lot of people have this notion that if you hold onto something for those just in case moments, it saves them money in the long run. I have noticed this is a wrong way of thinking.

Rarely do I feel grateful for having kept certain things for those just in case items. For example, I’ve had this Christmas sweater I wore one time but have held onto it JUST IN CASE we have an ugly christmas sweater party to go to. The future is always questionable & who truly new we wouldn’t be having large get togethers with friends for a year. By the time we actually have a party, I’m going to want a brand new outfit!

What Will People Think?

Repeat after me, stop caring what people think of you! If a person truly cares if you get rid of something, maybe you should gift it to them. This is your life to live so if you feel overwhelmed by the clutter in your home, don’t waste anymore time.

I’ll be honest, I probably still own plenty of things other people told us we HAD to have when owning a home. But slowly I will even downsize these items because most MUST HAVE items are useless in my opinion. And if there comes a time we truly need something, we will buy it. Simple as that.

It Hints You Were Wrong

Whatever it may be, it’s ok to admit it wasn’t right & it’s healthy to finally let it go. Life is too short to be living with things & people that don’t serve you. And if anything else, these wrongdoings can be seen as lessons leading us to our correct path.

Admitting you were wrong about something can be a hard pill to swallow. But it’s also extremely human & liberating. Maybe you were wrong about a certain style of clothing working for you. Or in a more deep sense, maybe a certain person in your life is wrong for you. These mistakes & lessons are normal & a part of life.

I truly hope these tips help you have more clarity with the idea of having a clutter free life. Comment down below what holds you back from letting go.

-B

Self Growth

Lets Celebrate Our Small Victories For Once

Why is it we tend to only pride ourselves of the big accomplishments? Do we feel like our small wins are not worth to brag about? I’m here to tell you, THEY ARE worth it & here’s why.

Burn out is a real problem in today’s day & age. I’ve talked about the importance of self care & slowing down your routines, but I haven’t yet discussed the importance of celebrating every achievement in your life, especially those little ones. And to prevent this so called burn out, we MUST take the time to acknowledge these small victories as they are the parachutes to our bigger destinations. It’s so important to enjoy the journey if you will & take in those small ounces of growth. Because once you do make it big or get to the top of the mountain so to speak, you’ll be proud of how you got there.

Take social media for instance, I feel like most people wait to announce their biggest accomplishments on there. Whether its an engagement, marriage, new job, promotion or travel opportunity, people are quick to announce those things. It’s a braggers right, isn’t it? But I guess posting a photo of your coffee mug with the caption, “tasty brew today” isn’t quite enough to be brag worthy.

But I’m saying, maybe we should do that! Maybe if we focused our attention on smaller accomplishments, our feeds wouldn’t be bombarded by highlight reels of amazing opportunities. Not so say we shouldn’t be proud of those moments. Maybe we should celebrate those small victories to be more relatable & show others that small hints of gratitude are something to be proud of too. I think for the sake of society, we would all benefit from this.

I know for a fact, if I posted a picture of me just getting out bed in the morning with the caption, “actually got my ass out of bed this morning, win win for me” it wouldn’t get that much praise. I honestly wish it would though because for some people, that’s a huge accomplishment. But I get it. Those victories don’t compare to those who have bought a house or won a Nobel prize. But it shouldn’t mean you should feel any less for your small victories. No wonder people struggle with self esteem. The world makes the little things seem pointless.

Taking pride in those small wins helps maintain proper mental health. To achieve in this life, I feel like the main characteristic to have is a good attitude. I love the quote, “when you focus on the good, the good gets better” & I think that half of the reason we have tough times, is not thinking every aspect of our lives are wins. Just being alive another day should be enough, you know?

I also feel like we are always looking for the next best things in life. And my biggest fear of mine, is waiting for this so called “big accomplishment” & never feeling like I really get there. And the reason for this is the notion of always wanting something bigger & better. Once you accomplish one thing, you are off to the next one. And it’s this big endless cycle of never really measuring up. So, why not look at your entire life as one big painting. Each little paint stroke leads you to the final masterpiece. An artist doesn’t wisk through a project & just say it simply appeared there. They acknowledge the time it took to get there, every mark & line, & every color used to get to the finished product. And I think we should treat our lives the same way.

What are some of your small wins today? Comment down below.

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-B

Minimalism, organization

I Want to Declutter. But How Do I Start?

What I love about the start of a new season is beginning it with a clean slate. Decluttering has become a therapeutic practice for me. A weight is seriously lifted when I’m finished. But I get a lot of questions on how to even begin such a daunting task. So here are a few things to consider while decluttering.

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Remove Everything From The Space

That’s right. Whether you are decluttering your wardrobe or any other closet space, take everything out & place the items either on your bed or a floor space. This practice allows you to start the process with an open & clean space as well as notice the amount of items you had in that particular space. I know, from personal experience, when I would declutter my closet & leave the pieces hanging, I wouldn’t do a thorough job. I would quickly glance at the items & assume most clothing pieces worked for me.

Hold Each Item One At a Time

By removing & holding up each item, you are being more honest with yourself. Ask the question, “Do I truly use or wear this object enough to keep it”? [Marie Kondo also says to thank each item, but I find that a bit odd]. But there is a sense of appreciating your material items, especially when it’s time to let them go.

Split The Piles Into Categories

By organizing the piles into categories, the task seems less overwhelming & you can see how much of each type of clothing or item you have. This helps you pare down what you have a lot of & what you may be lacking.

Determine What To Keep, Donate or Trash

Once you have organized all your items, now comes the fun part. You have to figure out what you want to keep & what to let go. I like to consider a few things as I am making this decision:

By asking these questions, it really makes you think. I especially found pieces that no longer fit my age or never did. I had these shorts that were so unflattering & made me look like a 40 year old housewife. I also had too many graphic T-shirt’s & a bathing suit that made me look 12 years old.

The key is to keep what makes you feel the most confident. Everything else is negotiable & unneeded.

Also, when it comes to products, make sure to throw out your empties. I felt proud of all the bathroom products I used up & makeup I hit pan on so far. And when it comes to makeup consider these questions as you downsize:

Try Everything On

If you have the time, trying on everything really makes a huge difference in the number of items you end up keeping. I for one discovered so many that were too big on me or made me feel less confident. It’s so easy to assume something works for you & leave it sit or hang in your home. But there have been countless moments where I kept something for years, never touch it & realize it never fit me or was damaged in some way. You need to make space for fresh & uplifting things.

Put Back What You Love First

Now that you’ve paired down your items, it’s time to pair down even more. Start by only putting back your favorites & the things you use or wear the most. Whatever is left is still negotiable & maybe needs to be reevaluated. I realized this step helped me donate even more. My maybe pile always ends up being too much anyway.

Organize What You’ve Decided to Keep

Once you have everything you wish to hold on to, it’s time to organize it in a cohesive manner. If you haven’t checked out my post on capsule wardrobes, I recommend you do so. I discuss the benefits of having less clothing & having a certain number of items in that wardrobe.

Having less belongings & decluttering on a regular basis has helped me stay less overwhelmed. Cleaning takes less time & in some places, I’ve paired down enough where I no longer have to declutter. I hope these tips help you with your downsizing projects.

B